William Peter Blatty: OMG did you guys hearPoe: what?Blatty: the society of st. pius X has schismed from the mother church!Blatty: this could be the biggest interdoctrinal ecumenitestimal since the integral convergence of the helgrimite blasphemy at the diet of dendronal in 1536!!Poe:King:Lovecraft:Koontz:Barker:
Blatty: this is like when the blessed council of garbanza rectified the confluence of the discalced silurians in 1232!Poe:King:Koontz:Lovecraft:Barker:Blatty: c'mon it's so obvious!Blatty: it's like a one to one correlation!Poe:King:Koontz:Lovecraft:Barker:Blatty: i don't know how you can't see the parallels
Blatty: this is just like during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, when many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!Blatty: don't act so confusedBlatty: you all should have learned about that in CCD
Society of st pius x: anyway you're not even our real popesospx: it's not like we even have to listen to yousospx: you're not the boss of ussospx: hey pope leo does this bug yousospx: we're not touching youuu ha ha
sospx: so anyway you're not the boss of ussospx: you can't tell us what to dosospx: i mean ha ha like what are you even going to dosospx: like excommunicate us or something ha haPope Leo: yeah, you're excommunicatedsospx: [surprised pikachu face]
sospx: ysospx: you can't do that!sospx: the last pope would NEVER have done that!!Pope Leo: yeah i ain't da last popePope Leo: i'm from Chicago
Pope Leo: see these society of st pius x jabronis wanna play hardball?Pope Leo: i just ask myself, what would Gandalf doPope Leo: would he just let the necromancer secretly regain his orc-hold strength at dol Guldur after the downfall of númenor?Pope Leo: and i thoughtPope Leo: no he wouldn't!JRR Tolkien: finally! someone who understands my work!
sospx: no fair!! no fair!!sospx: we shouldn't have to listen to the pope to be catholic!sospx: that's not how it works!Pope Leo: eyyy who here's got da papal infallibility?sospx: [mumbles]Pope Leo: what's dat? speak upsospx: youPope Leo: you're damn right it's me
Pope Leo: you're all schismed nowPope Leo: an if you wanna come back, you gotta write "i am very very sorry for rejecting Vatican II" a hundred million timesPope Leo: IN INKsospx: nooooo we can't not be mad about Vatican iisospx: you don't understandddddsospx: we really hate jewsssPope Leo: ey then you can all get fuckedPope Leo: i'm da Chicago pope!
Pope Leo: that's rightPope Leo: i'm the Chicago popePope Leo: i don't care who's toes i step onPope Leo: i'm gonna make a lotta enemiesPope Leo: like when theoden of rohan lead the rohirrim at the battle of the pelennor fields to save minas tiriPope Leo: yeah it's just like dat
Blatty: enemies? who could possibly hate my beloved Chicago pope?![meanwhile]Peter Thiel: [sweating like a baked ham, eyes ping ponging] the Chicago pope is in league with the gay trans catboy jews of the Chinese communist party and the space mutants , in conjunction with the RAND corporation, to elect greta Thunberg as Chicago antichristDan Simmons: sounds legit