What were you going to do…
You were absolutely dreading the next stop.
At least when you were traveling and fighting monsters, it gave you something to focus on. But you knew you had to retire for the night eventually.
You had just hoped for a plan of action.
News flash, you had none.
The horses slowed, and your pack dismounted. Gathering the straps, you pulled the animals together so you could feed and give them water. While you attended to their needs, you surveyed the area... Recognizing this spot from before. It was the same place you had taken a rest last time when you were with Momo and Inumaki. You spotted the path that takes you to the scenic sight of Shapuro.
Ah yes… Shapuro… you will be there soon. You will see all your friends… and hopefully....get your memories back.
You should be excited…but you were further from it. You couldn’t even think of what tomorrow would bring, when your pack was in shambles. The air was hot… despite being up north. The tension was just that intense. It felt as though one lit match would cause an explosion and set everything on fire.
You were a bit sad to see that Gojo did not set up your fancy tent…it wasn’t a big deal…you told him he didn’t always have to put it up…considering it did take a lot of energy to do so…but you usually had to fight him to put up your normal tent...not this time...
You couldn't help but blame yourself.
You caused this shitty attitude shift in your pack. And now you wanted desperately to right everything once again.
You miss your alphas so much.
You want to duet with Gojo and be silly…to give Sukuna sassy, delightful banter…. To cuddle with Toji and let him coddle you until one of your alphas would claim he was the one spoiling you the most. For Getou and you to share inside jokes that had the whole pack eyeing you like you were up to no good. And for Nanami to discipline you all in that fun way…not at all serious… a soft punishment or talk.
The kind that had your pack groaning about how unfair life is and joking about the dictator Nanami. Sometimes the blonde would even blush and talk back with a sort of shyness, trying to stand his ground.
But he'd always give in.
You missed that carefreeness... being able to say anything and not have to worry about anything.
You felt you were able to be your true, authentic self.
Now you were afraid to speak…
Afraid to mess everything up more than it already was…
You looked over to the camp…Sukuna was busy sharpening his blade…you couldn’t help but notice he was doing it without looking…he had his eyes pinned to Choso. Probably envisioning the worst for the poor beta.
Choso, surprisingly not backing down, glared right back as he set up logs for a fire.
The beta had balls made out of steel, that was for sure. He was not afraid of the clear desire for his head. And he stayed in this hostile environment...for what? Raven? You had to understand his relationship with her. This felt beyond just friendship.
Getou and you made eye contact. You blinked in code, hinting at your concern, and glanced at the two males who were about to fly into each other.
Your diva was wrapped in his blanket with the girls. He nodded his head to you, understanding what you were getting at. He then let out a loud *Ahem*~ and raised his hand, snapping, “Oi, Toji, Gojo, and Sukuna, go get something for us to eat, and I'll cook it.”
Gojo looked at the man, annoyed as he finished setting up your tent, “And what the hell are you doing?”
Even Gojo's tone toward Getou was different. It was devoid of that playfulness.
Despite the obvious attitude, Getou kept it cool, as if he hadn't noticed. “Attending to the pups, of course. They need my warmth!"
The pups made a face, but they didn't say anything, not wanting to get into the mix of your alphas.
Sukuna didn't look away from Choso, “And leave this fuck here with my omega?" He used his knife to point at him so no one could question who he meant, "I don’t think so.”
You could feel it. The heat rises, and the pressure of a fight is about to happen.
Choso’s lip pulled up over his canine, but Getou barked at Sukuna first, “I will deal with him if need be! Now go!”
Sukuna still didn't look like he was going to budge, but Toji came over with a huff, “Come on, you two. I trust Nanami and Getou got this handled.”
"We do." Nanami confirmed, "Choso won't be a threat to our omega. I can vouch for him."
Sukuna finally looked away from Choso so he could fix Nanami with his annoyance, "What, you guys go off and fuck? Now you are friends?"
Nanami kept his gaze stern, not at all concerned by the wild accusation, "If Choso does anything to harm her, then you can personally cut off my head."
You were shocked by how much Nanami was backing Choso up. What the hell did they talk about for him to be so on board with him now?
You could see the confusion from your pack as well. Why would Nanami gamble his life like that? To put so much trust in the beta that he barely knew?
Not even you were 100% sure that Choso wasn't here to trick you. Maybe like 90%.
"...I will do more than cut off your head..." Sukuna growled as he stood.
"Whatever your heart desires." Nanami confirmed.
"Make sure he doesn't do anything girls." Toji grinned at the pups, who nodded.
"Yes, sir!"
They took out their weapons and waved them toward Choso.
"Don't make us use this!"
"Yeah, we are strong!"
"I wouldn't dream of fighting such brave warriors." Choso commented, feeding into the pups’ idea that he was not a threat to them.
Gojo and Sukuna walked off with Toji, and as they walked by, you dropped your head upon instinct. Damn…you can’t even look at them? Seriously? You felt so stupid doing it, but you couldn't even reason with yourself to lift your head.
You heard Getou say, “Girls, you will need to handle him, if he tries something. I do not wish to leave the warmth of my blanket.”
“It’s not even that cold!”
"It-it is to me!"
"Ugh, you're such a pup!"
The four released a little laugh, and you smiled, seeing the scene played before you. You loved how well Getou treated the girls. And how he was somewhat getting along with Choso.
“What’s your name, sir?” Mimiko changed the conversation rather quickly, not even worried about Getou’s sassy attempt to defend himself.
“Choso.” The beta answered. “And yours?”
You listened to the conversation with Choso, the pups, and Getou. Their demeanor is much calmer now that Sukuna and Gojo are no longer within the camp. You were so happy that neither Getou nor Nanami was giving Choso a hard time. Toji also didn’t seem very jealous of the beta.
You really wanted to have a conversation with Choso, but you weren't sure if it would be wise at this moment.
You didn’t want any of your alphas to get the wrong idea…but FUCK did you want to know more about Raven. The mystery is only a breath away, and yet you feel as though you have to deal with your alphas first.
The base of your home was crumbling, and you had to fix it.
But how the hell do you do that?
You’ve been picking the worst choices known to mankind. Your feelings were very much a catalyst to all of this, but now you were at the point of ‘just fuck it’. Fuck your feelings, fuck who is wrong or who is right. You just wanted this to end. So then you can get back to the task at hand. There was sooo much more you had to deal with. Dove, your memories, the bitch who took Six, Ken fucking jaku, Junpei, Yuki, the damn old farts- Raven- and the list goes on and on...but without your alphas, you can't even begin to think about those things.
You can't do any of this without the whole.
Within your thoughts, one of the horses reared up with a loud “NEIGH!” And then the next thing you knew, the horses were bucking and pushing on each other.
Screeching as they did so.
“HEY HEY!” You called as you tried to grab their straps and pull them apart. Nanami rushed over to assist you, helping you calm down the horses before they could really start fighting.
“My goodness!” You shout, patting your horse. She let out a huff and shook her head in annoyance.
"You okay?" Getou and the others called.
"We are good!" You smiled and flashed thumbs-up, so they didn't have to come over.
“Now even the horses are fighting hm.” Nanami sighed in disappointment.
“Yeah...This is just getting out of hand…”
“I would have to agree…” Your blonde spoke earnestly as he made sure the steeds were alright.
Nanami helped you feed the horses, separating the others…funny enough, it was Gojo’s and Sukuna’s horse that started it. It was clear they were feeling the agitation from their riders.
You had to do something…but you felt almost helpless…
Once you were done with the horses, you turned to Nanami, “Can we talk?”
“I was just about to ask you the same question.”
“Yes, definitely, let’s…go over here…”
“We will be back!” Nanami called as the two of you moved to the narrow path.
You pushed through the bushes, following your memory. It didn’t take long before you found yourself on that lovely cliff. You smiled a bit when you were able to see the beautiful city; it was just as amazing as the second time.
“Wow…” Nanami commented, “…This is quite the view of the town…”
“Right? Momo and Inumaki showed me this last time we were here…it’s…absolutely breathtaking.” You feel a bit lighter as you sit upon the edge, your blonde sitting next to you.
You shivered, feeling the breeze touch your cheeks.
“Brr~ it’s getting colder.”
“Yes, in a few months it will start snowing…Here.”
You looked toward Nanami as he showed you your red earrings, the same ones Toji had gotten for your date.
“Oh, you are the best.” You smile putting the Firestone earrings on. You soon felt warmth blanket over your skin.
“I was thinking we buy some for Getou when we get to Shapuro…but then again he asks for too many things…he can’t help himself. So despite the allowance I give him… he never buys a pair.”
“I think he knows it won’t help much.”
“Perhaps it is all in his head.”
You both let out a little chuckle.
“Oh fuck...” You had accidentally looked down at your dangling feet and the long, long fall into the trees below. You reared back up with a gasp, “If I fall, can you catch me before I hit the ground?”
Nanami nodded with certainty, “Absolutely. But I wouldn’t let you fall anyway.” He slid his hand over your hip and pulled you close to him.
You almost wanted to cry, feeling his warmth and the pressure of his hand on your hip. Having him touch you in such a way made you realize how touch-starved you were. You wanted to be touched by all your alphas so bad… Sliding your arms around his waist, you lean into him, resting all your weight on him. He didn’t seem to mind at all...if anything, he encouraged it.
The silence drifted with the breeze...it was calm and peaceful, but you knew Nanami was giving you the moment to speak first.
The clock was ticking, and you didn't have the luxury of time to breathe.
“I don’t know what to do, Nanami.” You blurted out as you stared at the twinkling city. “…I think I fucked up…pretty badly…"
“Hmm…” Your alpha hummed lightly, “…Do you wish to…tell me what happened…so I can understand…?”
You had to blink a few times, the lights starting to blur within your watery gaze. “I…” You were back to this again…back to trying to explain what happened without really saying what happened. You felt hesitant to speak your part. Perhaps Getou was right. If you didn’t even want to reveal what you asked Sukuna, then maybe that was the red flag right there.
Were you the drama?
You can’t even say what you requested!
Because you knew…deep down you knew....None of your alphas could handle such a task…
You sat up, leaning away from Nanami…you felt you didn’t deserve his comfort. “It’s my fault.” You say almost as if it were foreign to you. Like you were telling it to yourself rather than Nanami.
You were being selfish with your request. You knew that…
And now, as you stare at Shapuro, you know there was so much more you needed to learn…your memory and your mystery could be answered as soon as tomorrow. You just needed to figure it out before it's too late.
Because no matter what, there is still that chance.
That chance that your purpose in this life is to destroy them.
You noticed that Nanami hadn’t said anything; he had his eyes on you, though. Waiting patiently for you to continue.
You finally face him, your eyes had a shine in them, but you kept your voice strong. You had to be strong. There was no other choice.
“I was being selfish. Very…very selfish. I asked Sukuna to kill Raven.”
Nanami furrowed his brows, “What?” The word seemed to come from his mouth automatically. "...But that would mean..."
You nod, “I know...I told him if Raven takes over and tries to kill you guys…Or I am some monster that was sent to hurt you all… then I would like for him to get rid of me.”
Nanami blinked a few times as you spoke, and then he looked away from you, his eyes on the trees below. You could see his jaw tense as he tried to process what you told him.
You continued, Might as well get it poppin' while things were hot... “He got angry, which was rightfully so; I do not fault him for it. I wasn’t even surprised to be honest…But I had chosen to take on his punishment instead of him destroying the entire inn. I felt like...it was the least I could do...since I was the cause of it... It’s just…I didn’t realize I couldn’t handle it…it hurt too much when he wouldn’t even spare me a kiss…” Near the end, you felt your throat tighten; it was a bit difficult to finish.
But you pushed on.
You looked down, and gravity took your tears from you. “I…um, I was so angry that I…I ran...All I could think of was the pain...and how could he hurt me like that if he loves me? So... I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me, but…of course...I hurt him first…and maybe he wanted the same thing...to hurt me like I hurt him...I get that…I started it first...but it just became one big mess…it’s just so-so fucked…and now it's like we're in this never-ending cycle of pain..."
You drifted off for a moment and then pop-up forgetting something important, "Oh! Then the situation with Gojo! My Tengen- like fuck me… I really fucked that up. Gojo wanted to make the ball able to see me in my dark form, but I didn't want that… I felt suffocated by the idea…like what if I don’t want to be seen? You know? What if I just want my space? I’m not going to run away, but maybe I just want to breathe without anyone able to see me. I didn’t think that was too much to ask, but at the time, I didn’t know how to tell him that without him thinking the worst! So I...kind of lied...Well, I did lie..."
For this next part you look toward Nanami so he could see how sincere you were, "...I swear I was going to talk about it later with him after things cool down... I was just dealing with so much with Sukuna...and of course that's most likely going to sound like bulshit, so I know I know it makes no difference now- but yeah, he got pissed...which also rightfully so....but yeah fuck...Like this, this- just all...it just blew the fuck up and I have no idea how to fix anything. Just fuck! I hate this so much…”
You put your hands to your face as you let out a long and heavy breath of air. It just felt so good to finally talk about it. Slapping your hands upon your lap, you release a snort, realizing something else, “Alsoooo! I didn’t tell Getou at first when he asked me, but now I'm telling you, so let’s hope he doesn’t get mad at me for this!” You laugh...a broken kind of laugh as you shake your head. “I’m doing fucking great with my choices woooooo!” You let out a loud hoot that echoed into the trees.
Suddenly, you became self-conscious, out of breath, and winded from talking so much. You felt embarrassed that you had been flapping your gums this whole time, and Nanami had yet to say anything.
You probably sounded so ridiculous.
"Please...say something..." You whispered.
"I...understand..." Nanami spoke softly.
His voice was so smooth, and so comforting, and all he said was two fucking words.
"You...aren't mad at me...for what I asked...and what I did? You don't see me...differently...?"
"No...you were just doing what you thought was best for your alphas. You were afraid. If I were in your position...and another version of me could kill you, then I would ask for the same thing. Or I would take myself out. No hesitation."
Your eyebrows furrowed; "I don't...think I could kill you...and I wouldn't let you kill yourself..."
"Exactly...that's how we all feel about you. It would be selfish of me to ask you to do so, and it would be selfish of you to give in and fall to my blade. No matter the outcome, someone will be left behind with the heavy guilt..."
You nodded slowly, "But...Sukuna is stronger than all of us…I know he will be fine...he will probably hurt for a while...but then he will get over it. He always adapts, it's in his nature."
Nanami let out a snort, "You really believe that?"
Now you felt unsure of your answer, "Well...Yeah..."
"Then I must say that is a preposterous thought, one you should ditch immediately."
Damn, you are over here getting burned by Nanami like this?!
"W-well what do you think would happen?"
"I know for a fact, if Sukuna were to do as you ask, he would perhaps take himself as well...or allow us to do it."
"What...!? You....you really think he would do that?"
"Wholeheartedly."
"...Oh..." You couldn't believe that's what Nanami thought would happen. You truly thought you could have saved them all if Sukuna had taken the burden on himself. He was good at breaking through tough situations. “…I never thought he would…react in that way…are you sure?”
"Sukuna is strong...but you are his greatest weakness. Whether he is honest with himself or not. There is nothing he can do about it. If you decide to leave...he would crumble…you have more power over all of us. He’s aware of this and scared shitless about it. Because-“
“Sukuna gets rid of all his weaknesses…”
“Right…but he can’t get rid of you…nor control you…he’s…helpless toward you."
Helpless and Sukuna in the same sentence was crazy to you, but knowing you hold so much power over him was something you already knew. Yet you never truly connected the dots like this.
“Damn…I just...I just wanted to keep you all safe...to know that if I am here to kill you...then you'd stop it...But I never thought Sukuna would also fall.”
"None of us could handle it... We're much too connected…we might as well be mated.”
You smiled a bit but then you spoke an idea that just so happened to pop into your head, "...If...If we weren't as connected...like...if this was in the beginning that we found out...it would have been easier...”
"..." Nanami stared at you for a moment, and for some reason, you felt he was going to lie to save your feelings.
"Don’t lie...we both know it to be true..."
"It...would have been easier...But I wouldn't want it that way."
"Ha...well maybe past Nanami was right about me...you are always right so we should have all known...I might be a witch sent here to destroy you..."
"And despite that knowledge...and that feeling...I still fell for you."
The air got quiet once again as you stared into Nanami's brown gaze. The city lights shone within them. They looked so pretty...You could get lost in his eyes. You loved him...and you loved your pack so much. You didn’t want anything to happen to any of them.
"...Nanami...I'm afraid...that you all will die by my hands...I'm so afraid...that… What if we distance ourselves...so then that way you won't feel this way-"
"Absolutely not."
You released a snort, "Yeah...I knew you would say that... but still...where is my peace of mind? You guys are all fine with dying, but I'm not okay with that...I don't want to be your downfall..."
"We will figure it out. I'm hoping...your friend can help us."
"Choso..." You nodded, hoping the same thing. "...Hey...what did he say to you...to make you...less jealous of him?"
Nanami let out a nice laugh, "Who said I was less jealous of him? Pardon me for giving you the wrong idea."
You felt your face heat up, "Oh- uh you are jealous of him?"
"Certainly." Nanami nodded with a smirk, "And after our talk, I am even more jealous, but I know he won't hurt you and that's what matters to me. We have the same agenda."
"Woooah" You laugh, "Omt What the hell did he say Nanami?"
"I can't say." Your blonde shook his head, making you release a playful huff.
"Kentooo!"
"I just asked him to prove to me he wasn't here to harm you. And he did just that."
You were flabergasted, knowing that Nanami's lips were sealed- this was going to kill you until you knew what was said. Whatever their discussion was, it made it apparent to Nanami that Choso would do anything to help you...and it also made Nanami jealous.
That boy must really love Raven; it was truly the only explanation.
"So he...loves Raven, doesn't he?" You ask leaning into him, desperately trying to get out the juicy details.
"You aren't getting a peep out of me, little bird. I had made a promise not to repeat his words."
Curse your stone statue!
You enjoy another peaceful laugh, but then set your eyes upon the scenic view. "...What...do you think I should do...about Sukuna and Gojo?"
"Talk to them."
"...Lately I haven't been doing so well with that..."
"...That will happen...just as they will say things to upset you, you will do the same. What you do after...that's what is important. Just like that time when I hurt you...because I was being stupid...once we spoke…I truly felt disappointed in my actions. If I had just said something beforehand, then we could have avoided the mess...but to be honest, I was too afraid..."
"That's what this reminded me of...with Sukuna…he wouldn't let me turn around to look at him...nor kiss him...because I think he was afraid..."
"Afraid of losing you...and the same could be said with Gojo...and the rest of us."
"...Yeah...I understand..." You sighed through your nose, enjoying your talk with Nanami. You wish you had chosen to talk to him instead of letting your emotions run wild. All you could think of was their blood upon your hands. It was still a haunting thought in the back of your mind. But you tried to change the subject, you didn't want this to be only about you and your problems. "...Your training...how is that going?"
"Hm? Not so good, unfortunately. I still cannot cast that barrier.”
“Really?”
“Mhm… I'm not sure what it is but...I had this thought....I have been experiencing a similar feeling, I can remember that feeling of dying...But I believe I actually did die."
"Whoa... no, that would be crazy. Maybe you used my light magic somehow. I like that idea better."
"Yes...but...It was my magic. I know it. I heard it…in my mind…I think I have to go over that edge to cast it again."
"To die? Are you hearing yourself Nanami?"
Your blonde looked at you with a grin, "Yes, just as crazy as you my sweet bird?"
"No- uh-I'm different!"
"It's fine, I understand how crazy it is, trust me. But Sukuna believes it as well. That warm curse energy is always too far out of reach. I believe it is on the outer barrier of my very being. Something that protects me from leaving this world."
"Yeah but it would have been activated in the game, that's weird that I never saw it...when your character accidentally dies...because I made a bad decision sorry about that..." Now that you were talking about the game in such a way it seemed oh so brutal. “-but yeah why hadn’t it come out? What would be the reason?”
"I understand this wasn't in the game...but there have been many other things that weren't in the game. This could be important."
"So what? Sukuna is fine with killing you in the hopes that you come back to life?"
"Heavens no. He gave me shit for that too. I even tried to leave myself in the circle and he tossed me out of it and then shouted at me as I was in and out of existence. We are definitely double-teaming Ryoumen."
"Pfft- haha- wait wait this isn’t funny Oh, you might be right. Gosh, poor Sukuna! I swear making him the grim reaper of our pack was not on my quest log."
"Just... unfortunate events...and bad timing..." Nanami points into the sky, "The moons, stars, and planets are not lined up in our favor."
"No kidding..." You sighed, resting your head on Nanami’s shoulder. “…I hope it’s fixed now…so I can fix our pack.”
Your blonde spoke softly, “…Just remember…What you are feeling… they might be feeling it too…”
~
Nanami took you back to camp, after your conversation.
Mimiko and Nanako were busy braiding Getou's hair as he read a book.
You didn't see Choso.
"I'm going out for vegetables." Nanami spoke. He kissed you and went on his way.
You were about to sit by the fire but then Choso called to you.
"Raven."
You looked over to find that the beta was holding two buckets of water.
"Hey, do you need help?" You go over to take one of the buckets but he sets them down and then kneels before you.
"Your pack…you have lost control over them?" Choso whispered it, perhaps trying to avoid the eye from hearing him.
"Uh...Kind of...but we are just in a little...mix up right now."
"Am I the reason?" The beta sounded worried, so you quickly shook your head.
"No- I'm actually at fault...I messed up…um..." You press your lips together as you look over your shoulder, "I...I need to talk to my alphas...would you mind watching the pups while I do so?"
"The witch pups?"
You looked toward him nervously, "I know… they are witches but they are safe…and also important to me..."
Choso raised a brow, "And you trust these witches?"
"More than your dad- I mean...uh Sorry...I shouldn't have said that...um...we have a lot to talk about but right now...I need to get my boys handled."
"I understand. I smell your scent all over the pups, do you...wish to claim them?"
"I don't think my pack is good for them... But I wish to keep them safe delivering them to their great great great extra great grandma."
Choso nodded his head, "Alright. Then it is done. I won't let anything happen to them."
You helped him pick up the other bucket but he took it from you, carrying both.
Such a gentle beta.
"H-hey...what did you say to Nanami to make him trust you?"
Choso looked caught off guard by your question, "N-nothing."
"What? Why won't you tell me?" You walk beside him trying to get a good look at his face but he tries to hide.
"That- that is a conversation for another time."
"Oh come onnn~" You let out a little groan, seeing as Choso also won't tell you.
The damn suspense is killing you.
~
Your heart?
Pounding.
Running 9000 miles per hour.
Your alphas had come back with the food they caught. Getou cooked it and you told a story to the pups to busy their minds…and yours.
Everyone was quiet as you told your tale…but soon the story ended.
Now you were sitting around finishing your food.
The air back to its intense atmosphere.
Nanami and Toji had gotten up to tuck Nanako and Mimiko into their tent. They had fallen asleep somewhere along your storytelling.
You looked to make sure everyone was pretty much done eating. You got up to retrieve the bowls.
They then started to converse about who would have the first watch.
Before they could get deep in the discussion, you placed the bowls in the bucket of water and then quickly stood. "My alphas...m-may I speak with you all?"
That settled into a quietness that was only filled with the burning logs.
"Of course." Nanami made the move first.
"Toji carry me, I cannot exit my blanket." Getou called to the alpha as the man stood up.
Toji rolled his eyes, but he proceeded to pick Getou up like a caterpillar prince, "Where do you want to go?”
"Not far..” you noticed Sukuna nor Gojo said anything so you said, “…If you don't want to talk then that's fine you can stay here." You stated while walking away from the camp.
"You gonna leave the pups with him?" Gojo questioned.
"Yes, Choso won't hurt them." You spoke without turning around.
If Gojo and Sukuna wanted to follow, they could, if they didn't then that was also their choice.
But you had a sneaking suspicion that they would follow. They were the kings of FOMO after all.
Even as you walked into the forest and then turned around, you didn't see them there. But you found a nice rock to sit on and then waited patiently for them to come.
And they did.
Grumbling as they came into the clearing, the moonlight lit your face up as you settled your gaze on your men.
That's right...
You knew your alphas well, didn't you?
They love you and are overly obsessed with you.
Even if they were being assholes right now.
“Um… so yes I called you here to tell you all I fucked up…”
The first step to moving forward is acceptance…
“…I told Sukuna to kill Raven-”
“What-”
“But that-”
“WAIT! Let me finish… I know I know I know-you can… yell at me for it after…but let me just…tell you what I’ve done…” You took a deep breath before you explained what happened. There were some sideways glances toward Sukuna when you got to the part where he didn't kiss you. “…That did upset me… and I reacted irrationally and just wanted to hurt him… which was wrong…I should have gone to one of you instead…um…and then for the eye with Gojo…I just didn't want the eye to see me if I choose to evade it. I don’t have much privacy besides when I'm in the bathroom so if you guys piss me off I'd like my own space to be pissed. Sometimes I do need that... But I just didn't know if explaining that to you…” You look toward Gojo who was listening to you with his gaze on the ground, tonguing his cheek in thought. “…um I assumed… that you’d think the worst if I said no. Which…when I assume I made an ass out of you and me…” You let out a little nervous laugh- before quickly getting back to being serious- luckily you got a laugh from Toji and Suguru, “So yeah...I know I messed up and I just wanted to say…I want to make up for it… If that’s making the eye able to see me then I'll do it… even if I don’t want to…But I just…want to be a pack again…I can’t…do any of this without all of you…”
There was a shifting of eyes, before Gojo spoke.
“Sooo~ are you asking us to like… punish you?” Gojo questioned.
Getou gasped within his burrito blanket, “No no, darling you are repeating your situation last time.”
Sukuna scoffed, “Tch- we all know how that ended. So don't say things you don't mean.”
“P-punished- I wouldn't say exactly that…I mean…like what can I do? Tell me what you want from me so I can make it better…what do you want from me?”
“And what if I wanted to spank you?” Sukuna glared. “You gonna cry about it?”
It was a taunt and you knew it. But you were a changed woman and you weren't about to fight fire with gasoline.
“Yes.” you say without missing a beat, “Because I'm sensitive…and that’s who I am. I will cry…but...as long as you reassure me… tell me you love me… or kiss me…give me something...Then I will be fine… that’s all I ask…but if you are too angry to even do that… and all you can do is hurt me…Then I can go to someone else for comfort… but let’s not put all the blame on me. In my world, it is up to the dom or alpha to make sure their sub or omega doesn't slip into a dangerous mental state. I may have acted irrationally but you allowed me to fall into that harmful territory...You know I'm sensitive and you know my boundaries, you proved that to me at the holy tower…it’s your job to keep me safe during those vulnerable times…”
The others looked toward Sukuna as he looked around awkwardly, feeling out of place now that it was clear he was at fault in this too.
“You know that was unfair.” Toji glared at Sukuna.
“Fine- I fucked up there I’ll admit that- but what about him?” Sukuna threw his hand to your white white-haired alpha.
“Huh? What did I do?” Gojo questions with a raised brow.
You shook your head, “Uh, Gojo didn't do anything, he was just… collateral damage…I take responsibility for that whole situation.”
Gojo grinned making Sukuna roll his eyes.
That was a good sign.
Because when Gojo and Sukuna are on the same team that means bad things are going on. Getou and Gojo is right - Sukuna Gojo? Bad.
Order was finally feeling like it was being restored.
Because you knew- Sukuna didn't want you to go to someone else for comfort. He only said that shit just to say it. To get the others on his side.
“Anything I want?” Gojo questioned.
“Within reasoning… the others have to agree it is reasonable.” You added. What the hell was he thinking about?!
“I have much to think about…” Gojo mused as he scratched his chin.
Just like you knew your greedy Gojo would want something else from you besides a simple eye upgrade that he doesn't even know he could fix.
“Same…” Sukuna muttered.
Toji frowned, “Tell me before you do it, so I can be there to comfort her.”
“I know how to discipline my omega-”
“Clearly not.”
“Why am I the only one getting grilled?”
“She’s owning up to her mistakes, maybe you should be disciplined as well.”
“Hop off.”
“You two better not go overboard.” Nanami added.
“I got a lot to think about hush!” Gojo growled at them.
“I believe I should also get disciplinary action since I was harmed as well.” Getou tried to slide in.
Nanami glared at him, “Let’s not forget how late you were getting out of the inn, you don’t get anything.”
“So cruel! Brother you simply must include me in your wicked games!”
“I-I don’t know!” Gojo looked flustered, he had no idea what to ask for or where to begin.
Your pack wasn’t where it was before but it did feel… a little lighter.
Inwardly you smiled, finally, you were moving in the right direction.
…
Gojo, Sukuna, and Nanami were some ways ahead of you… discussing what they wanted to do. You were not allowed to hear the top-secret plan. Nanami was there to shut down anything that would be too much for you, making sure the crime and time added up.
So you walked beside Toji and Getou.
You felt much better about the situation now. Even though you were indeed anxious about what they would come up with, you were just happy they weren’t funking up the atmosphere with their attitude and stench.
“Wait… so that whole killing Raven thing- that’s squashed right?” Toji questioned.
“Yes…I took it back...”
“Good.” Getou spoke, while being carried.
You were also glad you were able to tell Getou and Toji at the same time so none of them felt left out.
You felt like you did good but... It didn't solve the problem that started all of this. Sukuna was free from the task but now that left all of the pressure on you. You couldn't trust anyone to do what must be done. A part of you inwardly cursed all your alphas for being so damn obsessed with you. It made you think if the situation occurred... Are they truly protecting you or protecting themselves?
You didn't want to think about it, so you kind of spaced out, looking toward the beautiful moon instead. It was so pretty... It looked ethereal how it colored the sky with a dark purplish blue hue.
“Hey…” Toji must have seen your spacious expression, “It’s not like any of that stuff is true. It’s just an idea… and besides if Raven was going to take over I feel like she could have already killed us.”
“…Yes she had many times to do it so…Why hasn't she?” Getou added.
“Don’t know…” You shrugged. “Maybe she’s…waiting for the right time…”
“Let’s not speak of this anymore. It won’t happen.” Toji finalized with his tone.
You loved the sternness in his voice and you really wanted to power of friendship this problem away, but all this told you was… if the worst-case scenario were to come true then you would have to handle it.
Not Sukuna, not any of your alphas… you.
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
Chef Note: I had written this chapter yesterday and as I was finishing it up Grammarly shut down and I couldn't access the website or get my writing. It was down for like three hours before it came back up and THEN my internet went out 😭. I was like alright I'm going to sleep damn 🙄.
So this went from dinner to breakfast (depending on where you are )
Haha, i was kind of laughing during this chapter especially when Sukuna was like “I don’t think so” it reminded me of SpongeBob when he was tweaking out 😂.
I hope you guys enjoyed this meal until next time ^=^!
Oh! Um if you guys are rereading the chapters patron did something weird where all the sneak peek sections became the top of the chapter so i have to go back and fix it! Patreon is so weird sometimes it won't tell me if you replied to a comment. It will only notify me if it's a new comment i don’t know why. So if you reply to a comment and i haven't replied back its probably because it's not showing me 😭😭😭.