Early audio for ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. III, Episode ??? - Mr. Krabs vs Tom Nook.
Luke Reardon as Mr. Krabs
The Stupendium as Tom Nook
Mr. Krabs:
Eugene, too clean with it
Jewels gleam, me green glistens
You scheme in me business
You sleep with the fishes
Hit the payday on ‘em with the grade A product
Krabby Patties making thousands, call ‘em KK Sliders
Imma take your name and unload the tom
Putting more holes in you than Spongeboy me bob
Better dress the part when you’re in me restaurant
Just because you get naked, it don’t mean your guests oughta, fatty
I love to swindle children outta fresh money
But you got the best of me with Amiibo Festival, laddie
You got two twin brother kids running your biz
Wasting money on nothing, flipping bugs and cheap fish
They’ll bury your profit there in the coffin
X marks the spot - that’s an Animal Crossing
Tom Nook:
Hm, Welcome to Nook’s
Fresh out of sales but you’re welcome to look
Yes, it must be strange
To witness a business where labor is paid
It seems a deep sea creature snuck out of Blathers museum whilst he was sleeping
Greetings, Eugene, today I’ll be your guide
I’ll put you in your place and make you pay the price (hm)
I went from raccoon to tycoon, retail to regaled
Used to be stern, now I’m the mizzen-mast (hm)
You’re a single dad whose daughter’s a picky brat
Met a whale who pity-smashed, now he misses Mrs. Krabs (hm)
Stole from Plankton to get on the map (yes)
Used to be Chums, now he’s stuck with that half
Been best friends since babies and yet, you still squabble
No wonder your formula’s kept in a bottle
Mr. Krabs:
You tend to your tenants for no tender cause
While they’re firmly grasped in your big meaty clause
You trap ‘em in tents, call it “life on the shore”
I trap ‘em with flavour - they come back for more
We’re the same, boy - both figurehead businessmen
Only difference is you’re not getting any interest
Letting residents live off of little dividends
Buying back your island’s critters to finance your citizens
This ain’t a charity, you know dang right
Quit acting like you’re tryna get the no Bell prize
New Leaf tried to pull the wool over both our eyes
And yer still working overtime
You used to be the mascot, Switched you with the lap dog
They sent her to Smash Bros, you sat at your laptop
Thought you hit the jackpot, caught you in your wack plot
Ended up as another fake product of that fox
Tom Nook:
I confess, you’ve economized
But you’ve abused your goodwill just to rob ‘em blind
Every fish you bait and pull for their dollar signs
You’ve been keen to take Atoll on your Bottom line
Messing with staff, you’re simmering to a boiling point often
King Krabs, everybody wanna cut the legs off him
And plus, since your wage is chump change, they’ll have to
change paths to Chum, at last walk to Plankton
Cut through your net worth, it’s time to cash in
Stuck in the business hand made to trap him
Crawl back to Nook’s and hop on the shelf
Your whole life would sell for 150 bells
I’ll see that your daughter Pearl gets put up
In that orphanage I bankroll for fun
Now if you’ll excuse me - beat it, and fast
I prefer the Redd scammers leave through the back