[FILE 159 | Sakakibara Soichiro - BEDSIDE MANNER Log 04]

After a while, the room finally fell silent.

Before straightening his disheveled coat,Soichiro placed two fingers against your wrist.

His touch was calm and precise, just as it always was during an examination.

Only his eyes, behind the lenses of his glasses, looked faintly uncertain.

“Let me see your face.”

The words came in the same commanding tone as always.

His own breathing had not yet returned to normal,and still, the first thing he did was check on you.

Was anything hurting?Had he pushed you too far?Were you enduring something without saying so?

For Soichiro, this was more than a doctor’s habit.

The more someone matters to him,the sooner he begins imagining what it would mean to lose them.

Only after confirming that everything was all right did he finally relax.

He looked away slightly and spoke in a voice so quiet it was almost lost.

“…I wasn’t in control either.”

For him, that was probably a confession.

Sakakibara Soichiro is terrible at depending on others.He does not know how to reveal weakness or admit that he needs someone.

But in the end,he is still a man who refuses to run from what he truly feels.

＊＊＊

しばらくして、部屋が静かになった。

宗一郎は乱れた白衣を直すより先に、こちらの手首へ指を当てた。

いつもの診察と同じ、落ち着いた手つき。

けれど、眼鏡の奥の目だけが少し不安そうだった。

「……顔を見せろ」

いつもと変わらない命令口調だった。

自分の呼吸さえまだ整っていないのに、彼は先にこちらの状態を確かめる。

痛むところはないか。無理をさせなかったか。何かを我慢していないか。

宗一郎にとって、それは医者としての習慣だけではない。

彼は、自分が大切にしたいと思った相手ほど、失う可能性を先に考えてしまう男なのだ。

すべてを確かめて、ようやく安心したあと。宗一郎は少しだけ視線をそらした。

そして、聞き取れるかどうかくらいの声で言う。

「……俺も、余裕がなかった」

それはきっと、彼なりの告白だった。

榊原宗一郎は、甘えるのが下手だ。弱さを見せることも、誰かを求めることも上手くない。

それでも最後には、自分の本当の気持ちから逃げない男だ。