Act 6: Taylor
Morning.
Danny: -
Taylor: -
Danny: -
Taylor: -
Danny: ”Hey, kiddo, how’s the lasagna?”
Taylor: ”Good.”
Danny: - (reminiscing about his mafia Don father; wayward brother Jack; long-gone times when, to city's elites he was known as ”Calm Danny” or ”Honey-Badger Danny,” and so on).
Taylor: -
Danny: -
Taylor: -
Taylor: ’I should become a Hero! For the sake of my father, ferry, and the Brocktonians!’
Taylor: ”I'm going to run.”
Danny: ”Little owl...”
Broken step: creak-creak.
⸻⸻⸻⸻
Taylor: run.
Man: run.
Taylor and Man: run.
Man: ”Hi, I’m Ebony Dark'ness Way Raven Dementia, but you can call me Edwrd. Like a vampire from Twilight, but without ”a.””
Taylor: conducts complex calculations to determine whether this is Emma’s convoluted plan.
Edwrd: ”I like your splendid curly hair and long legs.”
Upright frog in a hoodie: awkwardly smile with thin-lipped wide mouth placed on an angular face atop a long body with stick-thin arms, broomstick legs, brown-black hair, and green-brown eyes hidden by grandma glasses.
Taylor: ”Hi, hair, I’m like your Taylor, Edwrd.”
Edwrd: ”What?”
Taylor: ’HE'S THE SAME AS BITCH EMMA!’
Taylor: heavy flashbacks about sleepovers with Emma, Emma’s betrayal, sleepovers with Emma, mom's flute, sleepovers with Emma.
Taylor, with the voice, facial expression, and body language of Anton Chigurh: ”What do you want?”
Edwrd, after a quiet fanboyish squeak: ’Queen of Escalation in her natural surroundings! During first stages of training montage! Recently unpacked from the locker!’
Edwrd: ”Oh, I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to disturb your run.”
Taylor: ”No, you don’t disturb, it’s just...” panicky.
Edwrd: ”Yeah, I get you. You are right. I also don’t like uninvited intruders and bullies. Wanna be friends?”
Taylor: ’Friend?! He wants to be the second Emma? But what if would happen Emma? No, second Emma isn’t like the first new Emma! He is like the first old Emma! Emma! MINE! He should be MINE!’
Taylor, emotionless: ”Yes.”
Edwrd: ”Cool! Just between friends, I’m from another world without Parahumans! Once I read a book about your adventures and then suddenly found myself in your world!”
Taylor and Edwrd running in silence.
Taylor by Dalek voice: ”What was this book about?”
Man: ”I cannot tell you everything because there is a shadow cabal with the most powerful precog in the world which bullies people who trying to find out truth about many important things.
Hmm... this precog was born the same year as your mother; in book literally chose your comfort over the life of her best friend; was confused by you for your mother; once had a very important silent call; and was overall responsible for creation or shaping of circumstances that helped you manifest your true potential and complete the final book's quest, so there is a chance— no-no, forget this, it’s just baseless speculation.
So, the book began with your confession that you really liked Mr. Gladly. You reasoned that, as a teenager, he was probably a very cool and popular kid with a lot of friends. The kind who went by alias “Mr. G.” And that you weren’t sure how such cool person as Mr. Gladly would perceive the opinions of such a “gloomy girl” like you.
Then you started comparing your feminine traits to Madison's. Later in the book, you'll do this a lot! The degree of muscularity in men, the size of women's breasts, and so on. Because of this, your fans, at least tens of millions of them, assumed that you bisexual and created numerous memes about it. Although not as much as in case of “Brockton Bay's warlordship,” “Alexandria’s suffocation,” “child-killing,” “Scion’s bullying,” and so on.
Anyway, after reflecting on Mr. G.’s popularity and Madison’s petiteness you hid in the toilet for lunch routine. Where you were found by The Trio who soaked you with juices.
When you became drenchingly wet door swung open, and you started to reflect about Emma’s and Sophia’s great bodies—”
⸻⸻⸻⸻
Timeskip.
MC: ”Do you know what the Unwritten Rules are?”
Taylor: ”No. My mother died because of electronics, so I and father are trying to avoid using electricity.”
Edwrd: ”It means that Heroes instead of real fight against crime they play ”Cops and Robbers” game. For the sake of villain's attendance of Endbringer battles.”
Taylor: ”But this is legalized bullying!”
MC: ”Yes. And we will change it!”
MC: ’After all, for victory necessary only crossdressed Oliver and hidden behind him Flechette.’
Taylor: ”But how? I’m weak! I have only paltry bugs and nothing else!”
MC: ”No! You’re a very powerful cape! Spider silk is almost nanotech! You can hear through bugs! Create bug-clones! Use millions of bugs as millions of separate scouts and manipulators of stronger-than-steel threads. Fight by Bug-Kata! Create an absolute kill-zone over a few blocks! With crabs and lobsters, Taylor, with crabs and lobsters!”
Taylor: ”Really?”
Taylor: ’I’m... I’m powerful?
Yes! I am the master of the B.U.G.S.!
Remember this ***ing face! Whenever you see bugs, you'll see this **ing face. I make that shit work. Bugs does whatever the ** I tell it to. No one rules the BUGS like me. I AM THE BUGS COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all BUGS! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I twitch their small legs like this. OOH you little ***. Then I rub my nose with it!’
Taylor: ”Yes. We will change things. For the better!”
MC: ’Beware Earth Bet! The best tactical genius of the planet and fiction!’
Act 7: Lung
Lung: ”Kill the children!”
Taylor: ’NO ONE WILL KILL CHILDREN BESIDES ME!!!’
Skies darkening from Taylor’s one-time pets.
Taylor: iconically run at Lung with a club.
Lung: ”!I-Wl-Kl-Ul!”
MC: ”Wet! Noodle Lizard!”
Lung: ”!!!IWKU!!!”
Taylor: nibbles by Lung’s jewels under Edwrd's force field protection.
Lung: de-escalate.
⸻⸻⸻⸻
Plap-Plap-Plap (dogs landing).
Camera's close in on a special dog without an eye and an ear, from which jumps a trashily dressed girl with streaked blue dirty-blond hair.
Tattletale with "I’m the smartest person in the room" smile: ”My psychic ass wants to say thank you for a he—lp—.”
Tattletale: freezes and reboots staring at MC.
Grue: ”Yes. We are very grateful to you, honorable lady and gentleman, for your helpful intervention. But, please, take notice that by this point, we have already confronted Lung on many occasions. Without outside assistance and much of problems. Do not take this as a lack of gratitude, just as clarification to avoid potential misunderstandings between us.
Regent: ”Sarcastic remark.”
Bitch: ”I’m Bitch.”
Tattletale: "Br— Grue, we— shou— what?”
Grue: ”Tattletale?”
Tattletale: ”You— no, how are you— just— WHAT? No-no-no—” step away to growling dogs. The area around Grue and Taylor starts to become darker. But from Grue's side by much more gallant and refined type of darkness.
Regent, extremely carelessly: ”Joke.”
Bitch, very aggressively: ”I’m Bitch!”
Tattletale: ”You... No! What the fuck, dude! We robbed Ruby Dreams casino half a week ago! And NO, it’s not Lung's casino, but Empire’s one!
And by CHILDREN Lung didn't mean US, but Gesellschaft’s tracker cape Children! Who can divide his body into parts, each part with an age corresponding to their volume!
AND NO, Lung ISN’T a powerful cape! For fuck’s sake, he requires literally MINUTES of seething to become at least bulletproof! Everyone pretended that he is a powerful cape so that he stayed in the city as so-called ”Hoperinger” cape! All big USA cities have them, often as leftovers of MIRIS organization.
In Brockton Bay this was Lung and Challenger combination, which allowed Lung to ramp up hundreds of times faster than during the Kyushu battle, which he — for many ”Peeping Lung” —entered after two fucking hours of impotent seething nearby fight!
But because of some bumbling driver, Challenger lost an eye, received heavy migraines, and recently died, which made Lung’s role as ”Hoperinger” meaningless! And from a weak cape with inflated fame and under de facto PRT protection he became just weak cape and nothing else!
And I don’t know how you know the power of my employer, but NO, I KNOW HIS POWER FOR MONTHS! ONLY TODAY IT WAS USED AT MY REQUEST FIVE TIMES!”
MC blankly looks at Tattletale.
Tattletale: ”THE FUCK?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ”HYPERSEXUAL-LEANING TYPE OF PERSONALITY WITH LAZILY JURY-RIGGED ASEXUALITY FOR THE SAKE OF ”I CAN FIX HER” SYMPATHY PATCH OVER SHITTY EGOMANIACAL ATTITUDES, EXCEPT FOR RELATED TO HER BROTHER’S DEATH TRAUMATIC FRAMEWORK?!! YOU LITTLE PIEeeesssssaaauuuu—”
Tattletale: faints and falls on her bloody — out of nose-bleed — face.
Bitch: ”Grrr— Atta...”
Grue: ”Stop!”
Grue: quickly runs up to Tattletale and takes her in his arms.
Grue: ”As the Undersiders gang leader I want to express my regret regarding the rude behavior of my subordinate. Don't take it personally. Tinkers sometimes have Tinker Fugues, and Thinkers - such moments of mental weakness as you had the opportunity to see for yourselves.”
—brrrr-Brrrr-Brrrr-Brrrr—
Grue: ”Unfortunately, due to another unforeseen event, we should take our leave. But someday, I’ll be happy to meet you again over a cup of English tea. Farewell, fellow capes.”
Regent, during elegant scepter waving: ”Bruh.”
Bitch, calmly and with a small nod: ”I’m Bitch.”
The company of ”Jerk with a Heart of Gold” sit down on dogs and jumps away into the Brrrr-Brrrr night.
Taylor intensively looks at MC.
MC: ”Look, I’m just read a fanf— I mean, book, entertainment book, not a historical one, how I could kn—
—BRRRM-BRRR-BRR—tinkle—tinkle—BRRR-BRR
Too much efficient to be quiet motorbike enters the stage.
Act 8: Armsmaster
MC: ”Are you going to fight me?”
Armsmaster: ”No.”
MC: ”Name yourself.”
Armsmaster: ”Armsmaster. Are you going to fight me?”
MC: ”No.”
Armsmaster: ”Name yourself.”
MC: ”Superb.”
Armsmaster: ”Thank you.”
MC: ”No, I am Superb.”
Armsmaster: ”I AM BROCKTONS BAY’S PROTECTORATE LEADER! I AM SUPERB!”
Superb: ”No, my alias is Superb.”
Armsmaster: ”AND WHAT’S YOUR ALIAS?”
Superb: ”Superb.”
Armsmaster: ”CEASE RESISTANCE VIL— Oh. Indeed? Human, on behalf of Brockton Bay’s Protectorate I want to express my regret for the misunderstanding.”
Superb: ”It's okay. As I said I’m Superb, and this is my teammate...”
Awkward pause.
Taylor: ”I’m...”
Superb: ”Tailor?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: ”Crabetta?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: ”Arthropoda?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: ”Worm?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: ”Centipede girl?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: ”Anty?”
Buzzing sound.
Superb: Bugs Bugy?
Bugs Bugy: ”I’m Bugs Bugy!”
Superb: ”We are Bugs Bugy and Superb, tentatively team BiBuS. Or BuBuS. BoBoS?”
Awkward pause #2.
Armsmaster: ”Dragon, is this a normal human interaction? —roger.”
Armsmaster: ”On the behalf of Brockton Bay Protectorate I greet you Bugs Bugy and Superb of tentatively team ”BiBuS or BuBuS or BoBoS.” Are you heroes or villains?”
Superb: ”Look, such dualistic simplification of comp—”
Armsmaster: ”HEROES. OR. VILLAINS?”
Bugs Bugy: ”We are Thieves! No, Swindlers? No... Villa— no— Ah, yes! Rogues! We are Rogues!”
Armsmaster: ”You’re telling the truth. You. Will. Die.
In 6 months, statistically speaking.
To avoid dying you must sign up to Protectorate. To do so, YOU MUST wait with me for the van which will soon take you for VERY IMPORTANT power testing and REGISTRATION. For which you will soon receive MONEY.
To select this, THE BEST, option, please, say ”ONE” after sound signal.
BIP.”
Bugs Bugy: ”We don’t want to be Protectorate capes.”
Armsmaster: ”You. Will. Regret. This decision. Please. Reconsider.”
Superb: ”No. At least for now. We will make our final decision after our meeting with the Wards.”
Armsmaster: ”Acceptable. Close task. Next task. Proceed. Credit for taking down Lung should be mine. After his escape you— I shouldn’t? Rodger. — correction, you are unprepared for — unrelated to Lung’s hypothetical escape — ABB’s retaliation against you. Acknowledge.”
Bugs Bugy: ”No. We need credit to rise out credit score!”
Superb: ”Street cred.”
Bugs Bugy: ”Yes! Street cred!”
Armsmaster: ”As the leader of Brocktons Bay’s Protectorate I cannot support such development. I insist on your reconsideration. Acknowledge.”
Superb: ”No. Credit will be ours. Or there will be severe legal repercussions - spread of Internet memes HalBeard and BeardMaster. Proceed.”
Armsmaster: ”You’re telling the truth. Analyzing threat level...
Oh. It’s not good.
Acknowledged. Good night, respectable citizens.”
Superb: ’Without typical fanfiction exaggerations he is just a normal person!’
Superb: ”Good night, Armsmaster. Good night— um— poisoned by lethal dose of venom Lung?”
Superb: ”Run Bugy, Run!”
Superb and Bugs Bugy: runs away.
Armsmaster, using all available antidotes on Lung: ”Console, I urgently need antidotes for spider bites and an ambulance. Over.
For apprehend Lung. Fully without my participation. By two new wardable Rogues. Over.
Also, I had contact with Master. Begin preparation for my Master-Stranger confinement. Over.”