Hello Humans,
[Trigger Warning - holocaust, death, grief, religion, genocide, war]
This month as promised I’m sharing a brand-new song called God of Neither.
It’s a demo mix at the moment, that I’ve done myself, just for Patreon ears, while the full EP dedicated to my grandma, Marcelle, slowly takes shape. Garry will give it a proper polish later, but I wanted you to hear it first as it is.
It was recorded on her 130 year old Blüthner piano, so you can hear some creaks and squeaks. All part of the charm of an antique piano.
The song grew out of the quiet conversations I had with my grandma in the last year of her life. She lived almost 101 years, and during those final months she spoke more than ever about surviving the Holocaust, family stories that were sometimes playful but sometimes unbearably heavy.
I always remember her piercing but kind, blue eyes and the gentle strength behind them. She taught me to swim in her homeland of Greece, and she would tell me how Thessaloniki, once home to a thriving Jewish community, became the “city of ghosts,” because so few returned after the war.
One of my fondest memories is from childhood. Every Christmas morning I’d run straight into her bed, safe in the sheets, put my cold feet on her to warm up, and we’d stay cosy together, and talk until the rest of the house was awake. That memory found its way into the lyrics, along with others.
The lyrics are somewhat scattered, a little like our final conversations, but it makes sense to me and I am happy to have a song that encapsulates some of my time with her.
God of Neither circles around her striking thought that a God who allows such horrors cannot exist, and certainly cannot take sides. She was born into the Jewish religion but became atheist after the holocaust.
The song looks at war and faith from that angle, no matter who claims righteousness, people suffer and die, and the God in this story only watches.
God of Neither
Blue eyesLift to meet mineSee a warm smileSmiling true
Her mindIn the dark lightIn the grey skiesShining through
Father sends his regardsGone are the days you had to hidePray to the God of Neither side
Your voice is strainedA language charredSafe in the sheets where love is never far
Teach me how to swim deepAs the tide creeps over usAnd don’t weep for your citySalt this memory I can’t know
Heaven sends her brightest starGone are the days you had to lieShame on the God of Neither sideAnd I would hold your shaking handAre you watching me now among the world of men?
Can you hear me in the place between the shadow and the sun?Tell them that I’m coming in a century and oneTell me there’s a God who wouldn’t kill his own sonTell me that the worst of us has come and now is gone
Where so many beg for lifeAnd we and God choose a side
Mother sends her regards
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There will be two more songs for her on the EP, each carrying a different thread of her life and our conversations.Thank you for being the first to hear this. Your support makes writing and recording these songs possible.
If you find anything here relatable, as always, I'd love to hear your comments and thoughts.
Love,Mishkin