Solaena's [Guided] Journey Chapter 31

"...you heard about it, too?"

"...even my brother's nephew heard about it."

"...what do you think happened? A calculated leak?"

"...doesn't matter to us."

"...right, that's a mess for the Nexus Order to take over."

"...the ripples will make themselves known sooner or later."

The habitual whisperings of the sanctuary were much harder to discern now that my senses weren't directly enhanced by an Aspect, but as with everything, it was a question of equivalence and contrast.

Did my Tier 0 [Awareness] compare to my Tier 2 [Perception] in terms of listening to distant sounds?

No, it absolutely did not.

After weeks of relentlessly uncovering all facets of my first high order Aspect, it ultimately only served to somewhat accurately point me towards where the sounds originated from, not identify, nor distinguish them.

It was up to me to get closer to those distant whispers to make out what they were saying, an action more pertinent for my [Secrecy]-synthesis [Exertion]s.

Though with how my [Awareness] ineluctably permeated through every part of my [Exertion] routine and elevated my overall Essence development efficiency due to its ubiquitous presence throughout, it also arguably pertained to my new [Awareness] [Exertion]s.

Because there was no turning off my [Awareness].

Like how my [Exertion] Aspect allowed me to sustain [Exertion]s multiple times beyond what I should justifiably be capable of carrying out, and I had no say on diminishing that capability...

My [Awareness] Aspect had become an integral part of my Essence.

It felt strange, it felt unfamiliar, it sometimes felt overwhelming when my [Awareness] repeatedly exposed me to a hundred little things while I was quickly moving about...

But it was how it was.

I simply had to accept it.

So what if my senses were diminished, my hearing failing to recognize previously obvious sounds, my sight unable to pierce through the [Darkness] as it did before?

It was the price to pay for advancing my Path.

It was simply my first experience with undergoing a voluntary lessening of my capabilities in exchange for long-term potential.

I did it once; I intended to do it a thousand times more.

"...how do you think the Nexus Order is going to handle it?"

"...probably by sending a Company over. Or maybe just an investigation Unit?"

"...never know with them. Maybe they have a lost record about an atmospheric station somewhere in their archives."

"...we'll find a whole Division tomorrow if that's the case."

"...would be so funny."

As for my [Awareness] forcing me to repeatedly hear fragments of whispers and gossip about a supposed leak of information regarding the coordinates for an "atmospheric station" having been found in the ecological pocket the Faith had partaken in harvesting...

I didn't have any opinion.

Only a nonchalant realization that even suppressed to its least sensitive level, my [Awareness] had an unanticipated synergistic effect with my [Focus] Aspect, as [Focus]ing while being assaulted by information at all times was an [Exertion] in and of itself.

An [Exertion] that also affected my inner [Harmony]; something which, in turn, compelled [Guided] to continue adjusting my [Exertion] routine two weeks after I formed my [Awareness] Aspect.

And from the slow, consistent resurgence of my early Essence overdevelopment signs since the big worsening from the synthesis of my [Awareness] Aspect, my anti-overdevelopment [Exertion] routine was looking more and more endangered by the day.

The balance had been broken once again, just like it did when my [Focus] Aspect advanced to Tier 1.

This time, however, I was uncertain if there even was a solution that did not include frequent periods of idleness to allow my Essence to settle down.

If that happened, that meant some of my [Exertion]s would finally truly have to go.

Whether willing or not, if it came to the point of my daily Essence development "quota" being fulfilled by a single six-hour-long [Cultivation]-synthesis [Exertion] session where I couldn't prevent [Awareness], [Comprehension]-synthesis, [Clarity]-synthesis, and my [Harmony] and |Purity] formation [Exertion]s from barging in...

I would have to face the harsh [Truth] that I may as well [Focus] solely on it while relegating everything else to accidental [Exertion] during my idle times.

Seriously...

I couldn't wait to get to Everwell to finally get my hands on books about optimizing one's Essence development.

It was so infuriating that things were truly, actually, genuinely coming to such a degree of absurdity simply because my entire Path synergized around [Guided].

So what could I possibly do at this point?

Nothing.

Apart from seeking an answer that had eluded me since I underwent an Essence mutation and learned about Essence overdevelopment...

There was literally and figuratively nothing I could carry out that would change the base fact that whatever I did, my Essence would surely develop, inching me closer to Essence overdevelopment and potential death.

How ridiculous for [Idleness] to be an answer to anything.

At least, it would teach me [Patience]...

◇ ◈ ◈ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◈ ◈ ◇

A month.

From when I formed my [Awareness], lost my [Perception] Aspect, and my [Exertion] routine entered a state of delayed collapse as my Essence crept closer and closer to a state of overdevelopment...

A month was how long it took for my Essence to be [Guided] back to a state of Essence development [Harmony].

Neither too much, nor too little.

And all it took to achieve that was the official establishment of my Essence development priorities.

Of sorts.

My [Awareness] Aspect causing my every [Exertion] to result in greater Essence development had truly been the last impetus that forced me to make up my mind about my Path's future, a future whose Essence development troubles were not anywhere near concluded with its latest addition.

For as exciting as all of my Path Aspects synergizing with each other was, it translated practically in every development only further blending and augmenting my [Guided] [Exertion] routine.

The [Exertion] Aspect allowed me to develop myself further over the same period of time than if I didn't have it.

The [Cycle] Aspect provided me with all the energy I could ask for.

The [Tempering] Aspect made true of the fundamental truth of [Exertion], guaranteeing that whatever I did, it would result in some manner of development.

The [Insight] Aspect always hovered in the back of my mind, ready to spring with new ideas and understanding, even for things I did not concern myself with.

The [Focus] Aspect simply existed as a relentless force of concentration that disallowed having a single second of inattention.

The [Will] Aspect enabled me to get clear glimpses of what the next levels looked like, all while serving as a way to never have an excess of energy.

The [Darkness] Aspect... was somewhat of an exception.

I could ignore it, go through [Exertion] routine as if I had never formed it, and I wouldn't be worse for it, but it also represented something else.

Something much more important.

The future.

It represented the [Secrecy] Aspect, a concept that would both truly integrate seamlessly into my Path, all while granting me the greatest layer of protection to my existence I could ask for—[Secrecy].

It was just like how the [Exertion], [Cycle], and [Tempering] Aspects represented the future [Cultivation] Aspect, an Aspect bound to transcend everything the three Aspects it would be synthesized from already brought to my Path.

Added on top of that were the prospective [Purity] and [Harmony] Aspects, two Aspects [Guided] had only needed me to read a couple of in-depth books to perfectly incorporate them in my [Exertion] routine, demonstrating their underlying compatibility with my Path.

All these Aspects making up my Path...

They drew a bigger picture than just [Guided] and I figuring out our Essence development and my Path as we went.

And this bigger picture informed me that, until I either formed an Aspect or acquired a satisfying answer on how to deal with my recursive Essence overdevelopment issues, the time to determine firm priorities in terms of Essence development was upon me.

Accordingly, for now...

My [Cultivation]-synthesis and [Will] [Exertion]s would stand at the top of my Essence development priorities.

The former had the potential to heighten the fundamental truth of [Exertion].

The latter held the keys to future Aspect syntheses that were absolutely central to my presently planned Path.

Next in line would be my [Comprehension]-synthesis, [Clarity]-synthesis, and [Awareness] [Exertion]s.

If they were so integrated with my Path that simply by existing, I unavoidably went through their associated [Exertion]s, it was better to simply recognize them as my second-highest Essence development priorities.

That way, whenever I accidentally stumbled upon fleeting, fortuitous opportunities to further advance them, my [Exertion] routine would have already accounted for them, preventing me from unbalancing my Essence development.

After that would be my [Secrecy]-synthesis [Exertion]s.

At such a relatively low priority level, I wasn't even considering voluntarily going through dedicated [Secrecy]-synthesis [Exertion]s anymore, solely integrating them in my [Exertion] routine and leaving the rest up to chance.

Such was the price of instilling order and striking a balance.

And bringing up the rear would be the [Purity] and [Harmony] Aspect formation [Exertion]s.

I would not dedicate a single minute of my [Exertion] routine to them.

All I would do for them was to meditate on their associated mindsets while I went through higher priorities [Exertion]s.

As for why I placed them so low despite their relatively crucial importance to my Path and their inherent compatibility...

Mathematics.

More precisely, the mathematics of Aspect formation.

As things stood, whether I formed the [Purity], [Harmony], or any other unexpected Aspects, they were all tackling the relative Aspect formation difficulty of my tenth Aspect formation.

The triangular number may not accurately represent reality, not even mentioning the accuracy for the reality of my Essence, as Aspects' Tiers, concept overlaps, orders, and a dozen other factors all influenced the difficulty of forming a new Aspect...

But it was still a reality that, unless one was in an extremely unique situation, the fewer Aspects one had, the easier it was to form new ones.

Hence, it simply made much more mathematical sense to wait for my [Exertion], [Cycle], and [Tempering] Aspects to be sublimated into the [Cultivation] Aspect.

Once that happened, my next Aspect formation difficulty would be that of forming my eighth Aspect, and the least benefits that would bring to the "table" was a straightforward reduction of at least a quarter of its present difficulty, possibly a third.

Therefore, I couldn't possibly put the [Purity] and [Harmony] Aspect formations anywhere other than at the absolute bottom of my Essence development priorities.

In my circumstances, harried by Essence overdevelopment, it simply would not make sense to do things any differently.

And that was it.

My Path.

Summarized to a mere four priorities.

The bottom two of which I already considered Essence development-wise hopeless.

And the top priority of which I anticipated to require actual idle periods for any sustained period of time.

As for what distinction it tangibly caused to my [Exertion] routine...

Nothing exemplified it more than the crossroad I reached every time my [Cycle]—and incidentally [Cultivation]-synthesis [Exertion]s—brought about the complete recovery of my energy.

It was a sensation I had long familiarized myself with, one which my [Awareness] only permitted me to more distinctly identify than before.

Complete recovery soon to be achieved, I started to slowly stand up from my booknest, one limb after another, never mobilizing more than one or two muscle groups.

Then, whenever I felt the ever-convoluted proto-[Cultivation] [Cycle] I worked to create over the last two hours or so start to break from the incurred changes, I froze, determined the issue, and fixed it before continuing to stand up.

Minutes flashed by in such a state, and I did not cognize any of them, all too [Focus]ed on what I presumed to be two-thirds of the [Cycle] complexity mandated to touch upon the high order concept of [Cultivation].

With an Essence development quota to not exceed, and with my complete energy recovery still a good half hour away, I wasn't in any hurry to get to my destination.

Thus, I opted for the stupid-looking but ultra-efficient travelling method of leaping and gliding.

I spread my wings.

I stabilized my [Cycle].

I jumped, gliding my way back to the ground.

I stabilized my [Cycle].

I bent my legs and extended my wings to their highest point.

I stabilized my [Cycle].

I jumped and glided for a good sixteen meters, stabilizing my [Cycle] throughout.

That was it.

I jumped.

I glided.

I jumped.

I glided.

Over and over again, preserving my [Cycle] as much as I reasonably could while doing so.

Loops distorted further every time they ruptured.

Streams slipped away from my blood vessels.

Junctions drifted where they didn't belong.

Halfway to my destination, my [Cycle] had transformed into an abomination propped up solely through sheer [Will] and mastery.

It wasn't about complexity or efficiency anymore; it became about durability and resilience.

Until I reached the crowded corridors opening onto the infirmary, I stubbornly held onto my fractured [Cycle], then I finally let go and simplified it back to a tried-and-true heart [Cycle], one whose sole purpose was to nourish my body with air and nutrition.

Everything I needed to go on.

Thereby freed from the burden of maintaining a crumbling proto-[Cultivation] [Cycle], I flapped my wings once and took off back where I belonged.

In the air.

There, I soared above the throng of giants and entered the infirmary, where I subsequently made my way to the first occupied bed I found, shortly landing next to a bemused female Toro.

For the sole purpose of her not telling me why she was here to begin with, I took a deep breath and said, "Acolyte Initiate healer Solaena. I wish to practice my [Awareness] with the objective of achieving accurate [Diagnosis] without patient input. Is your issue compatible with that?"

"I guess so," she answered with a hoarse voice that already informed me she probably had some vocal cord-related issues.

"I'll get started then."

Compared to when I relied on [Perception] and a fluctuating amount of [Ingight]s combined with [Comprehension], now all of it had been replaced by [Awareness] and pure [Comprehension].

I [Will]ed my [Awareness] to [Focus] on one distinct area, the first area always being the same.

The head.

Or rather, the very important organ contained within for most humanoid species—species exhibiting a standard upright bipedal morphology, with two lower limbs supporting a vertical torso, two upper limbs, and a single cranial structure positioned superiorly—which Red Sand Rift City was filled with.

The brain.

Even for non-humanoid species, starting with what qualified as their "brain", or what qualified as such in the case of their biological makeup being too different from baseline humanoid species, was a basic healer [Diagnosis] priority.

Without relying on being actively [Guided] as this was primarily about my [Awareness] and [Will] healing, I proceeded unhurriedly, carefully feeling through what my [Will]-enhanced [Awareness] revealed to me.

Bumps where there should have been nothing.

Dermal injuries that hadn't healed correctly.

The surface was relatively easy to get a clear picture of, but the instant it touched upon what went on below...

My [Awareness] struggled.

I [Will]ed it to penetrate deeper, through the skull, and then across the brain matter.

No obvious anomalies apart from some superficial bruising, nothing pointing towards a concussion-level injury.

Finished with her head, I directed my [Awareness] downwards, and when it passed over her throat, the severe trauma I expected became evident.

Extensive damage to the larynx and vocal cords.

Disruption of the cervical spine.

Widespread tearing and inflammation throughout the surrounding neck musculature.

I memorized everything and moved on, first going through her torso, a few of her organs presenting signs of damage, then her two arms and two legs, each showing more or less severe bruising.

The conclusion I reached through my [Comprehension] couldn't have been clearer, and I took another deep breath to give me the air needed to ask for confirmation.

"I'm finished," I announced, then looked the female Toro straight in the eyes. "Do you wish to be completely healed? I could also heal just your throat back to a mildly injured state, as it's your only injury that mandates healing, that way you can enjoy some residual Essence development for Aspects such as [Recovery], [Persistence], and the likes."

"Heal everything," she answered without considering my words.

Her loss.

"Alright."

[Focus]ing my [Awareness] on her throat area, I identified every damage, then allowed [Guided] to actively steer my mind as I visualized what healing everything back to a state of wellness would look like, be like, and how it should biologically be done.

Respectively...

[Clarity].

[Harmony].

[Comprehension].

Once I was done, I [Will]ed for my visualization to be concretized, for every damage to be mended back to healthy flesh.

And just like that, I wiped a non-insignificant chunk of my energy reserve.

Healing all her bruises, along with the less noticeable inner injuries I wasn't certain to have entirely caught, took another non-insignificant chunk, leaving me a fifteenth of my energy reserve poorer.

An average energy expenditure for such extensive healing.

"Wait for the check-up by another healer, but you should be good to go," I told her, then, without waiting for an answer, flight-jumped to a bed an infirmary aide just assisted someone to lie on.

"Acolyte Initiate healer Solaena. I wish to practice my [Awareness] with the objective of achieving accurate [Diagnosis] without patient input. Is your issue compatible with..."

Another patient.

Another [Will] [Exertion].

Another small step on my unending Path towards becoming what I wanted to be, was meant to be, would be [Guided] to be.