something feels wrong in his body, it’s been festering for a while now. It’s ugly, it’s gnawing at him, slowly consuming him from the inside. He would really like to point the finger at Jimin for it, wishes it started all since they had that first time.
Wishes it started before that, even. When he couldn’t stop looking at Jimin’s lips, couldn’t stop fantasising about what they’d feel like.
But deep down, there’s something that tells him it’s not that either. It has been there for years and years, behind walls he built himself.
it’s just that Jimin is breaking those walls down.
And the thing is, usually, he pulls back as soon as he gets too close. He’s pretty good at the whole ignoring thing, giving Jimin the cold shoulder.
However, for some reason, he can’t put that prick’s face out of his head. Lee Si-hun, or whatever his name is.
Saw him once at that bar with his smug stupid face, but now for some reason he’s everywhere. He’s picking Jimin up in his way too expensive car, even attended a baseball match on the bleachers.
Ah, fuck, that guy he’s just so— infuriating.
He can’t believe Jimin is even into a slick loser like that. Always smiling at him, leaning over for a kiss in the car. What kind of job does he even have? Or does he just drive around all day combing his perfect hair?
Even worse is that Jimin for some reason just does not approach him. He doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even stay in the changing rooms when he’s there.
That’s his act, and Jimin’s stolen it.
He really needs to do something about it before it drives him insane.
———————————
God, he was gonna call it off with Si-hun, but somehow he ended up kind of enjoying the boring date. And he knows it’s only because of Jeongguk— he needed comfort, Si-hun was there with his boring stories about his boring job.
There is a comfort in dating someone safe, someone who is gay and accepting of it and not a total and utter wreck.
Taehyung keeps saying he needs that, he needs to give Si-hun a chance and get used to a normal relationship, a nice guy who is not afraid to give as much as he takes.
And it’s all good, they have dinner, they walk through the park, they make some puzzles, they work out together.
It’s just..
They haven’t had sex.
There is absolutely no sexual spark.
Even their first kiss was.. how to even describe it? if it was a spice, it’d be flour.
It’s driving him insane. Si-hun is pretty good-looking, very magazine handsome, but there is just nothing behind his eyes, there is no passion.
Hoseok keeps telling him that it might come later, that he’s still getting used to it after all his not so great turbulent relationships but this.. he bets neither Taehyung nor Hoseok would last a day with Si-hun.
Then again, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just a nothing thing, it’s a nothing burger. He’s at the peak of his youth and sex is an integral part of it, it’s supposed to be fun, to be wild, to be experimental.
Si-hun would die if they made out with tongue.
He sighs. Maybe he just wants to go too fast.
Maybe he’s used to one-night-stands and Jeongguk on his back begging for— no.
No more Jeongguk fantasies.
Although it’s kind of hard. Jeongguk just left without a trace and went right back to not acknowledging him, right after a night like that.
Then again, should he really be expecting the straight homophobic guy on his team to suddenly switch up and hold his hand? He knew what he was getting into when he started.
And that’s why, as boring as Si-hun is, at least it’s stable. At least he isn’t lonely on the weekends, and at least he doesn’t have time to think about Jeongguk.
Until suddenly, in the middle of a match, Jeongguk perceives him. And normally that wouldn’t be a problem, it’s just that it’s been a few weeks and Si-hun happens to be on the bleachers now too.
It’s not even a groundbreaking thing, Jeongguk just comes up to him and says “nice catch”, slaps him on his shoulder.
It’s just so out of character that he stands there for a bit, stares at the big 97 on Jeongguk’s back as he walks off, that pretty jersey, he still has one in his room too.
Huh.
Next thing, during time out, their coach assembles them in a circle, and Jeongguk for some reason has to stand next to him.
Again, it’s not weird for other eyes, they probably seem like normal teammates, but it’s so weird. After weeks of staying away as far as possible, Jeongguk is now glued to his side.
He hasn’t really told Si-hun anything about Jeongguk. And he doesn’t want him to find out either. Though Si-hun would probably be annoyingly okay with it all, like “oh you and him had a thing? that’s normal, it’s in the past now, I only care about the present” or some other healthy coping mechanism like that.
Once the time out is over, a hand rubs over his lower back, and then pats his butt right after.
What the—
“You’re playing well today.”
He whips his head towards Jeongguk, blinks at him once, twice.
Jeongguk’s black hair is already a little wet at the ends, falling in front of his round, dark brown eyes that stare back at him as if this is a normal interaction between them.
The other players are still in their proximity so all he can really say is an awkward“thanks.”
The comment doesn’t make any sense either, he’s not playing well at all. He’s just a recipient of one of Jeongguk’s weird moodswings again.
But whatever, fine, Jeongguk just patted his butt. Camaraderie. Real sportsmanship.
“Brought your friend along again?”
Jeongguk asks, nods towards the bleachers, as he takes a sip from his waterbottle.
Ah, fuck. He didn’t think Jeongguk would recognise Si-hun from the bar, really. Not that it really matters, Jeongguk is clearly uninterested in getting any closer, it’s been radio silence for weeks now, so.
He gives a shrug.
“Yeah, why?”
Jeongguk lowers the water bottle, stares directly at Si-hun on the bleachers for a bit too long. The corner of his mouth curls up then, before he shakes his head with a scoff, and just walks back to the field.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Is he mocking him?
He purses his lips, looks over at the bleachers too, gets a small wave from Si-hun, sitting there in his pink polo with his perfectly styled hair, like some sort of k-drama romcom main character.
Ah, fuck.
He just smiles and waves back before he gets back onto the field.
He doesn’t know why it bothers him that Jeongguk gives him that look. Why would he care what Jeongguk thinks of Si-hun? Why is it so embarrassing to get those knowing eyes.
Fuck, whatever. He’ll just focus on the game.
When they play offence, Jeongguk is exceptionally good, he always has been really, but he’s even better today. It’s almost annoying to watch from the sidelines, knowing what the rippling muscles under his clothes look like when he hits the ball.
And his hair has grown out a little too, falling over his eyes in a pretty way, especially when the ends get all sweaty like this. It’s like everything plays in slowmotion when he runs, those dark brown eyes so intense, always determined to win.
His mouth waters.
It’s been entirely too long already without sex, just seeing Jeongguk play baseball turns him on.
And when Jeongguk hits that homerun, and he looks right at him over the field with that victory grin.. ah, his stomach erupts with butterflies.
Shit.
That can’t be good.
But it gets worse.
After they’ve won the game, in the changing rooms, Jeongguk comes up to him all proud, chest puffed up, brushing his hair back, face a little flushed still, sweaty.
God, it’s unfair how fucking hot he is.
“Saw my homerun?”
“Mm.” He nods. “Nice one.”
They never talk after a game unless it’s about sex. And he doesn’t want to spend any extra time necessary in Jeongguk’s presence. More so because of self-preservation than anything else.
So he just grabs his bag, swings it over his shoulder.
“Not showering?”
Jeongguk asks.
He stiffens. Can’t catch a break today, Jeongguk keeps coming for him with everything he’s got. But he’s got to stay levelheaded, doesn’t even grant him a look.
“No, gotta go.”
“Right..” Jeongguk draws the word out. “Gotta go to your boyfriend.”
He whips his head towards Jeongguk. He isn’t really keeping his voice down that well, and he isn’t exactly out to anyone here. Something about that glint in Jeongguk’s eyes tells him he knows that though, he’s being a dick on purpose.
“What? I’ve seen you get in his big silver Hyundai.”
Jeongguk says matter of factly, with a shrug too.
He always makes sure Si-hun doesn’t pick him up too close to campus, yet somehow Jeongguk of all people noticed.
It’s a little hard to pretend he’s unaffected in a space with other people who can overhear the conversation, but he just fakes it, takes a step closer.
“Seems like you’ve noticed lots of things.”He shouldn’t indulge like this, Jeongguk doesn’t deserve any of his attention really. It’s only cause he’s starving for a thrill, and the way Jeongguk’s eyes glint already sparks a fire within. “you stalking me?”
Jeongguk huffs out a breath.
“No, just saying, think he might be compensating for something.”
Oh, so mature.
This is just peak jealousy. Just like last time, when he was talking to a guy on the way to the changing rooms on purpose, and Jeongguk got all annoyed, it’s the exact same thing.
He might be acting all confident with that “he’s nothing compared to me” attitude right now, but there’s this shred of desperation in his dark brown eyes too, behind that facade.
It’s so satisfying.
But he can’t give into that again, even though he would do nothing rather than push Jeongguk against the nearest wall and make him beg for his dick. if it doesn’t come from Jeongguk, then there’s no point to it.
So, he just sighs, walks past him, makes sure to bump against his shoulder on his way out.
When Si-hun later asks “who’s number 97?” with that calm smile on his face, he just brushes off the topic altogether.
————————
“What are you sulking about?”
“I’m not sulking.”
“Dude, you’ve been sulking the whole fucking day, everyone is having a good time.”
The sound of champagne glasses clinking is all too familiar, another one of his parents parties at some resort.
He hasn’t touched his drink, glued to his phone the entire night.
Namjoon kicks his leg under the table.
“Ow—“
“What’s up with you? Had another break-up with Young-hee?”
He glares at Namjoon over the table, would much rather be left alone to sulk than share any feelings.
“Young-hee and I aren’t even dating, and she’s left the country again, so.”
Which is a good thing, one more conversation about girls and gays and he would have died.
“So, why are you upset?”
“I’m not upset—“
“Sad, then—“
“I’m not sad—“
“Well whatever it is. Just talk man.” Namjoon raises his voice a little in that demanding way, leans back in his chair with his glass. “I might be able to give advice.”
Ah, yes, this philosopher with his so-called advice.
“Is it a girl?”
Namjoon asks, pending.
And, fuck it, if he’s not going to let it go, fine. He might as well play along, pretend Jimin is the girl in question. He leans back in his chair as well, crosses his arms.
“Yes. It’s a girl.”
“Aha.” Namjoon nods slowly. “And she’s dumped you.”
“Dumped isn’t exactly the word.”
“Did she suddenly start ignoring you after sex?”
Oh.
He bites on his tongue, and Namjoon just reads his face in an instant.
“Right. And now you’re just desperately trying to get her attention?”
“It’s not that.” It is that, actually. A little bit. The desperate part just ticks him off. “She has this new boyfriend, and that guy sucks.”
Ah, he sounds bitter even to his own ears. Maybe that’s why Namjoon just looks at him with that deadpan expression for a while.
“So, she’s moved on already, why are you still going after her?”
“It’s not like I want her back it’s just..”He tries to find the proper words, but nothing sounds remotely sane, so he just settles on: “the sex is good.”
This time, Namjoon just blinks a few times.
“The sex is good?”
“Yeah, the sex is good.”
“You fuck so many girls, how is this any different?”
Well, this is a guy, first and foremost.
He clears his throat.
“She’s just that good. And I know she liked it too, so I don’t get why suddenly she’s all over this other guy that’s just..”
A fucking loser.
“Maybe he’s got a bigger dick.”
“Absolutely not.”
“So— let me get this straight.” Namjoon moves the chair a little closer. “You’re sulking for a girl who ghosted you right after sex, and for some reason you can’t move on even though you don’t have feelings for her.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “That about sums it up.”
“That’s contradictory. If you don’t have feelings for her than you wouldn’t care. You’d just move on, find the next girl like you always do.”
Ah, this is why he doesn’t want to talk about this whole thing. Namjoon doesn’t fucking get it. He doesn’t get how Jimin’s mouth fits perfectly around his cock, he doesn’t know what it’s like to.. feel full.
“As I said, it’s the sex.”
He stays adamant, doesn’t want to give away anything else.
Namjoon rolls his eyes.
“Right. But you don’t want her for just one more time.”
“Yes I do. I just want it one more time and then move on. That’s it.”
A beat passes, and there’s that look of genuine disbelief in those intense eyes before Namjoon shrugs.
“Alright, fine, if you want her one last time then there’s only one thing you have to do.”
Now that’s interesting. He leans in a little more, lowers his voice so the other guys don’t overhear.
“What?”
Namjoon looks right at him.
“Beg.”
..
“Beg?”
“Beg. Show how bad you want her, I know it goes against the normal, aloof approach, but trust me on this.“
He doesn’t have a comeback, can already see the smirk on Jimin’s lips if he were to utter a please. There is absolutely no way in hell he will ever resort to something as pathetic as begging for sex.
————————
“How’s the sex?”
Taehyung asks then, when he’s finally tipsy enough to bring up the subject. He’s slumped over their dining table, Hoseok chilling in the chair next to him.
A regular student night at their place.
“With.. Si-hun?”
He asks, almost forgot his name for a second.
“Who else?”
..
Right. Jimin clears his throat.
“It’s uh..”
Nonexistent.
“You know.” He shrugs. “Great.”
“Your enthusiasm is thralling.” Hoseok snickers. “Is he that bad?”
“No it’s all fine, it’s— you know.”
“It sure sounded like you had a good time a few weeks ago. Heard the bed creaking the entire night and morning before I left.”
Taehyung says, takes a swing of his beer.
Shit.
So he was home..
And that was Jeongguk he heard him with.
Heat rushes to his cheeks, and he quickly takes a sip too, just hums.
He’s been trying to forget that night so hard, but the mention of it takes him back to the bedroom, Jeongguk on his back for him, pretty chest under his hands and mouth, that hole around his tongue..
His dick twitches instantly, and he moves his hand down under the table, adjusts himself.
“That— yeah— sorry about that.”
He can’t really say that wasn’t Si-hun.
“I don’t think you are. You two fucked like rabbits.”
Fuck.
Taehyung just gives him that long stare, and all he can really say is “sorry” once again.
“It’s okay, I’m glad you two are at least finally getting somewhere.”
“I know right?” Hoseok agrees. “Thought it wouldn’t last.”
Yeah..
He looks down at the table, cheeks glowing. The amount of beers he had doesn’t really help his fantasies to stay where they are. He’s been avoiding the topic of sex all night for this exact reason.
Taehyung and Hoseok flow into another conversation but he’s stuck in the memory of that night, when they fucked like rabbits, as Taehyung so eloquently put.
“I’m going up— going to bed, have to get up early.”
He excuses himself a few minutes later, neither Hoseok or Taehyung even think of it as weird, just give him a small wave.
It’s just— he’s hard.
Has to pull his shirt down as he sneaks away to his room, groans as soon as he closes the door behind him.
How pathetic is this? Dick hard because of the mention of sex. What is he? A teenager?
He sighs, leans his head back against his door, but in the corner of his eye he catches a familiar jersey, folded neatly, lying there on his desk. Unwashed.
His mouth waters.
But no, he can’t.
He can’t be that pathetic over a homophobic asshole.
However.. there is a fleshlight somewhere in his drawer, with a rim.. if he just—
No.
No, just watch porn. Watch porn, get off, and sleep. Like always.
He wants to move to his bed but his body just automatically takes him to the desk, until that jersey is right there, luring him in.
God.. fuck.
One night won’t hurt.
He’s on the bed with that jersey, lube, and his fleshlight in under a minute, blames it on the alcohol. Blames it on not getting laid the past weeks, not even a handjob, in this economy.
And he gets it, Si-hun wants to take things slow but come on. They haven’t even properly made out once.
Is it just him? Is he just addicted to it? Isn’t it normal to want to feel this?
That tight, slick silicone sucks his dick right in, even though it’s nothing like sliding inside of Jeongguk, he can pretend. Brings up that jersey to his face and breathes in the scent that still clings to it; Jeongguk’s natural scent, though it’s a bit faded, it’s musky but still kind of light.
And since Jeongguk isn’t here to call him a freak, he goes right for the armpit area, presses his nose into the fabric and inhales deeply.
“Mmh fuck.”
Only tonight he’ll allow himself to be this down bad, and then never again.
He searches for Jeongguk’s body warmth on his mattress when he fucks the fleshlight, nose deep into that jersey. The memory of those rippling muscles under his fingertips, the countless kisses they’ve shared, Jeongguk’s hips moving back against him.
His moans, his dazed eyes when he gets fucked good, the way he throws his arms over his face when he’s embarrassed.
“Haa— fuck.”
He groans, closes his eyes tightly as he picks up the pace. Can’t believe he’s missing that asshole so much that he can recall the taste of the inside of his mouth, the way his jaw aches when he gives him head, the warmth of his cum on his tongue—
“Nngh— fuck, fuck. jeongguk.”
All those shut up’s he gets, more and more flustered each time, until Jeongguk breathes it between moans, until the words mean absolutely nothing anymore.
Last time wasn’t enough— he’ll admit it. It wasn’t enough. There’s no limit to how much he wants Jeongguk, needs him in his bed seven days a week, fuck him all night long.
Heat spirals in his gut, that delicious pleasure spreading through his veins, almost— almost.
He searches for the other spot on that jersey, the other armpit, breathes in the remnants of that post-training sweat, sees it glisten on Jeongguk’s pretty face, on his neck—
God he wants to fuck him right after training, drag his tongue all over his body.
“Aah— fuck, yes—“
He throws his head back, electric shock coursing through his body when he finally comes. He buries his dick even deeper into the fleshlight, sucks in a sharp breath as he looks down, the silicone stretched around him like that.
“Mmh, fuck.”
He pants, slips out of the silicone once he’s all spent, and then just relaxes his entire body, absentmindedly watches his cum seeping from the silicone rim.
That was so pathetic.
Jeongguk’s jersey still in his hand.. he lifts it up above his head, drops it on top of his face.
Maybe he’s fucked all of his frustrations out now, maybe it’ll all be a little more bearable tomorrow, and maybe seeing Jeongguk at training will finally not have any effect on him anymore.
————————
It gets to him. Jimin’s blatant ignoring.
Nothing he says really gets to Jimin anymore. even if he brings up his boyfriend, he just walks right past him, doesn’t even look him in the eyes. It’s so fucking frustrating.
It used to be different, he could grab Jimin’s wrist, force him to sit on the bench, ask him to suck him off, and Jimin’s eyes would instantly glaze over.
He misses it. The thrill, the heat blooming under his skin.
And he gets it, there are boundaries to how far one can push. But remarks about Si-hun’s hair or his car or his anything just don’t cut it anymore.
So when he finds that stupid, silver Hyundai already parked along the pavement on his way to training, with that stupid, annoyingly tall guy leaning against it like he’s in some shoujo manga, he just can’t fucking help himself.
“Si-hun, right?”
Si-hun’s perfectly styled, gelled hair doesn’t even move an inch when he turns his head, always that off-putting polite smile on his face as if he’s afraid anyone could catch him at a bad angle.
“Yes, that’s right. And you’re number 97, right?”
Ah, not even a hint of irritation on his calm, blank face. He’s all smiles, a fucking cartoon from a text book. A stock photo of him would show up if you search “kind man” he’s sure.
He huffs.
“Aren’t you a little early? Training hasn’t even started.”
Si-hun blinks with his obnoxious big eyes.
“Oh, you know about..”
“About you and Jimin? Yeah, I know.”
Nothing better than to see that perfect vogue magazine face morph into confusion.
He slides his hands in his pockets, shrugs once.
“Jimin and I are pretty close.”
They’re not, but it’s worth it.
Si-hun’s polite smile fades slowly, but it’s like he’s trying to keep it there, which just makes it look eerie.
“Really? He’s never mentioned you.”
Ah, there, the hint of annoyance in his tone. this is what it’s about. Jimin never indulges him in these arguments anymore, but he seems to be getting under Si-huns skin just fine.
“No, I don’t think he would.” He can’t help the slow smirk that curls on his lips. “We’ve seen each other naked more than a few times..”
This time, Si-hun’s eyes widen a bit.
Hah.
“Under the communal showers and all.” He finishes.
A beat passes, and then Si-hun huffs out a breath.
“What kind of joke is that? Are you trying to piss me off?”
Oh he’s finally catching on.
“Not a joke, I’ve seen him naked. Tattoos and all.”
The words just spill from his lips, and he knows it’s stupid but he needs it. He needs that pissed look, he needs Si-hun to feel uncomfortable to his very core. Si-hun is silent for a few beats, but then he frowns.
“What are you on about?”
..
Oh.
Doesn’t Si-hun know about Jimin’s tattoos?
They’re dating, right? if they’ve fucked or even if he just saw Jimin shirtless then he would have seen those moon phase tattoos.unless.. they haven’t had sex.
Oh this is good.
This is so fucking good.He can’t help it, the grin that spreads from ear to ear. Mr. Perfect somehow has not been able to get Jimin in bed. Must have a micropenis. “You should ask him about it.” He says, already walking away. “See you around.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, too filled with glee to even focus anyway.
———————
The jersey sniffing did in fact, not help him get over Jeongguk.
The moment Jeongguk walks into the changing rooms, he’s just reminded of the stark difference between who just dropped him off on the sidewalk and possibly the hottest guy he’s ever laid eyes on.
Jeongguk’s eyes catch him from across the room, that boyish, playful glint in them. The pull of the corner of his mouth when he grins, his black hair that falls prettily over his forehead. The confidence with which he walks, and god.. the body underneath those clothes.It’s on purpose, entirely. Jeongguk taking the spot across of him, then taking off his shirt by the back of his collar, his full upsidedown triangle back on display. His dick almost twitches.
Why is it so hard resisting a guy who runs away as soon as they’ve fucked? He can’t go through the same cycle again even though that cycle involves fucking Jeongguk. Which is just unfair and mean. He should be fucking Jeongguk. On a daily basis, preferably. Not even as lovers or anything. Like, just as fuckbuddies, without the buddy part. Or friends with benefits, without the friends part.
But if Jeongguk can’t even blow him, or touch his dick for longer than 5 minutes.. is it really worth it?Probably not.————————
Jeongguk didn’t talk to him all training, which is rare. Usually he gets remarks about basically everything, good or bad. Today he just had this grin plastered on his face each time they made eye contact. Unbearably attractive, really.He ponders about it until he reaches Si-hun’s car. As soon as he takes a seat and closes the door, the air is awkward. And that’s saying something, cause the air is almost always awkward. This time though, Si-hun is just staring through the front window, doesn’t even spare him a glance. Even when he leans over for a kiss, Si-hun doesn’t meet him there.Wow, he’s never seen him like this.“What’s wrong?”Si-hun takes a deep breath, then looks over at him.“Your friend came to see me. Number 97.”Oh fuck.Those eyes scan over his face, and he hopes to god he doesn’t look to fazed. “Oh, did he?”
“He did. Before your training. You avoided the topic when I asked you about him before, and now he approached me in some weird macho way.”
Oh fuck times two.Jeongguk really has to go mess things up for him huh? Is this why he was smiling like that the whole time?“Oh, I’m sorry about that—“
“Did you two date?” Si-hun asks, folds his arms over his chest.This is the most emotion this guy has ever shown. Or maybe that time when he talked about his alcoholic grandpa. “No, no.” He shakes his head. “He’s straight, so.”
“So? Why did he tell me something about seeing you naked?”Shit.That asshole did not.An excuse— he needs an excuse.“Yeah well we all shower together after training so, it was probably just a joke.”phew.Si-hun squints, the corner of his mouth pulls down, but then he looks away.“That wasn’t the energy he was giving.”
No, no Jeongguk would probably say something like that with a shit-eating grin. “Sorry about that, he’s a little.. weird.”He gives a small apologetic smile, an awkward chuckle.
“He said you have tattoos, too.”
Fucking hell, Jeongguk might as well have just said they fucked, multiple times.
Si-hun is quite a purist, he hates the idea of tattoos, that’s why until now he’s never mentioned them, or shown them for that matter. Not that’s he’s lied about it or anything, the topic came up once and he just listened and nodded, kept quiet.
Now, however, Si-hun gives him that look that translates to; please tell me it’s a joke
All he can manage is a small apologetic smile.
“Yeah I.. have a few.”
“A few?”
“Yeah.” He nods, looks down at his lap. “On my back, ribcage, and hipbone.”
The car fills with thick silence, and when he casts a glance, Si-hun turns his head away.
“And he’s seen all of them?”
“I think so, we all change in the locker rooms, all my teammates have seen them.” He shrugs. “And again, Jeongguk is straight.”
He hopes that lessens Si-huns suspicion. If anything, he wants to deal with Jeongguk later on, does not want to get caught between these two.Si-hun just hums, doesn’t even look at him when he starts the engine.“Yeah, well, straight or not, he definitely has some weird thing for you, he’s always lingering around you during games. I want you to stay away from him.”“He’s on my team though.”“Yeah, I just mean don’t interact with him besides that.”Huh.He didn’t take Si-hun as a jealous guy at all. With all his morally correct answers, he sort of thought this would be a non issue. “Mm.”
He just hums, looks out of the window. Will absolutely not be listening to that advice at all.—————Finally. Jimin calls.
He’s been waiting for this call the entire day. Knew it would come.
His fraternity bros don’t even ask where he’s going when he sneaks off to his room. He locks the door behind him, closes the curtains, then lies down in bed, safely under the covers.
All for no particular reason.
He picks up, heart hammering against his chest.
“Yeah?”
“Why did you talk to Si-hun?”
Ah, straight to the point. Jimin’s voice sounds good when he’s worked up, it has that edge to it.
A grin curls on his lips.
“Hi to you too.”
“Don’t hi me, Jeongguk, what’s your deal? You ignore me for weeks, then you want my attention, and now you suddenly approach my boyfriend?”
“You ignored me too, so.”
“So? That gives you the right to talk to Si-hun?”
“Well you weren’t talking to me, and now you are. So I guess it worked.”
There’s a long silence on the other end, and for a second he think Jimin might hang up. But then, there’s a soft sigh, and a truly exasperated: “What do you want from me?”
It’s not at all the turn he wants this conversation to take.
So he just huffs.
“Want to know why you’re dating that guy.”
“Why?”
“Yeah, why?”
“No, why do you care?”
He bites on his tongue, turns on his other side.
“He’s always at our games, sitting on the bleachers with his stupid haircut, then picking you up in his ugly car.”
“You’re not answering me.”
Fuck.
Usually Jimin takes the bait, indulges in the back and forth. Now he’s just asking all these annoying questions or pointing out the obvious.
“You’re not answering me either.”“Fine.” Jimin says. “You want to know why I’m dating him?
“Yeah.”
“Cause he’s good for me.”
Good for him? That’s it?
That doesn’t sound right.“How good can he be when you’re not even having sex?”
The pause on the other end is quite satisfying, sends a shiver down his spine. But then, through the speaker comes a lower tone;“Is that why you’re calling?”
Water pools in his mouth at the timbre of Jimin’s voice.
“Is my lack of sex bothering you?”
Fuck, yes, more of this.
He runs his tongue along the underside of his teeth, temperature rising a bit.
“Yes.”
“Mmh, think I can’t get by?” Jimin’s voice turns just a little raspy. “Are you hoping I’ll come to you for help?”
In a perfect world.. yes. That is exactly what he wants. But the way Jimin perfectly spells it out is kind of embarrassing, as if he’s known all along.
“That’s— that’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying, exactly?”
“That— that he’s a loser.” He sits up in his bed. “He’s so fucking lame, I can’t believe you’re dating him.”
“Right.”
The lack of conviction in Jimin’s voice makes heat rush up to his cheeks.
“I mean it.”
“I have no doubt you do.”
Ah, fuck, this is frustrating.
Some sounds on the other end, like fingers typing on a keyboard. Jimin is just— distracted. Doing something else while they’re calling.
“Is— is that it?” He asks, sounds kind of pathetic. “No comeback?”
“If you’re done ranting, I’m gonna hang up.”
His eyes widen.
“No— I— I’m not done—“
“Well even if you aren’t, I’ve got better things to do.”
Fuck.
“Jimin—“
The dial tone rings through the speaker next thing, and he just curses under his breath, immediately calls again.
Jimin doesn’t pick up.
When he calls again, the tone goes straight to voicemail.
Fucking blocked. This asshole just blocked him.
He groans, throws his phone on the floor. Good for fucking nothing.
—————————
Wow, he can’t believe he finally learned how to do it. It was so tempting to give in, Jeongguk’s obvious jealousy and his need to provoke him. If he pushed back just a little, he could have Jeongguk touching himself over the phone again.But for once, he held back.
It should probably feel good, but really, he’s just exhausted. Cause no matter how much that came out of jealousy, what Jeongguk said still is true: Si-hun is lame, and they’re not having sex.
And it is getting to him. He’s tried it, not many times, but he tried to touch Si-hun, however each attempt just got shut down for unknown reasons.
Phone sex with Jeongguk would take the edge off. But he doesn’t want to end up like that again, so desperate for him.
It’s just not worth it.
Plus, Si-hun will probably come over tonight too, so it would be kind of mean to phone fuck the guy he’s been told to stay away from before his arrival, right?
Taehyung and Hoseok even left the house cause they think they’re fucking like rabbits. It’s kind of funny, really.
And, whatever, maybe he should try again; wear just a little less clothing tonight, show off his muscles, or maybe he should go for accentuating his ass? All this time has passed and he’s still not sure if Si-hun is a top or bottom.
It’s about an hour later when the doorbell rings, and he’s looking pretty good in the mirror, so with some newfound confidence he gets downstairs and opens the door.
Oh fuck.
No.
Jeongguk stands right there in front of him, leather jacket hanging off one shoulder, white tank top underneath, baggy jeans, like that one night in the club— fuck, he keeps forgetting Jeongguk has a sense of style outside of his baseball uniform. Not important right now.
“What are you doing here?”
Jeongguk’s eyes run down his body first thing, he even leans back a little, tilts his head for a better angle. He’s never been checked out so blatantly obvious before, and fuck, it’s sort of flattering, especially from Jeongguk.
Those dark brown eyes then slowly travel back up until they reach his, a glaze over them, then he hiccups.
Now that he’s taking a closer look, his face is flushed too, cheeks pink, and he’s not standing all that stable either.
Oh god.
“Are you.. drunk?”
“’S your boyfriend here?”
Jeongguk drawls, casts a glance over his shoulder inside the house, takes a step closer too.
“Not yet—“ He pushes a hand against Jeongguk’s chest. “But he will soon, so, you should go.”
It’s warm, Jeongguk’s body under his hand. Which should be a sign to take it off, but.. he knows what those pecs look like under that tank top.
Jeongguk lowers his gaze then, face a little too close, dark brown eyes too intense even through the strands of his black hair. Even drunk, he manages to look like this, all that boyish charm for some reason has to belong to this asshole.A hand sneaks around his waist too, just as warm, and sadly, just as welcome. Everything he doesn’t get from Si-hun, this impulsive touch, the thrill of wanting to get closer.“Jimin..” The way he says his name sounds softer than usual, almost a whisper.
He should not indulge, but one quick glance over at the parking lot and Si-hun’s car is nowhere in sight.So he just locks eyes, instantly feels that rush, the electricity between them.Jeongguk leans in more, until their noses bump together, eyes slowly fluttering shut.
“Can I come in?”
Heat rushes up to his cheeks.
“No.”
He shakes his head, but can’t find the strength to lean away. Jeongguk has no plan of making it easier for him either, rubs his nose along his own, tilts his head a little so their lips align.
“Please.”
Fuck.
This is not happening. Jeongguk isn’t— he isn’t drunk, begging to come in right now.
“Please.” Jeongguk whispers again, even breathier this time. “Wanna go to your room.”
Oh— oh fuck.
Arousal licks down his spine, twists and curls inside, settles low in his stomach.
Everything is going to hell. Right after he thought he finally got over it.
“Jeongguk—““Please I— I need you.” Jeongguk sneaks his other around his back, pulls him closer, until their bodies are flush against each other. “I want it.”
His ears burn, flames spread under the surface of his skin, no rational thought comes to mind. It’s so pathetic, how much he can’t resist. His lips part a little, soft moan escaping his mouth as he nudges Jeongguk’s nose too. Now he’s complicit.
“Want what?” He breathes against Jeongguk’s lips, slides his hand over his chest, cups his pec in his hand. “What do you wanna do in my room?”
Jeongguk’s breath hitches, and he leans in, the faintest brush of his lips against his, but Jimin pulls back just in time.“I wanna— I want—“
Jeongguk pants, no coherent words follow, but he moves his hand slowly, slides it from his waist to his stomach, and then slowly downwards.
Jimin holds his breath, casts his gaze down at Jeongguk’s hand on his body. It sinks lower and lower, until it rests on top of his dick.
Oh he’s got to be fucking kidding.
He needs to rail him into the fucking mattress.
But he can’t. Si-hun can show up any minute, he can’t fuck Jeongguk even though he’s begging for it. He pants softly, blinks back up at Jeongguk, those dark brown eyes that usually glare at him now twinkling in the lights, asking to be dicked down.“I— I can’t.” He pushes Jeongguk’s hand off, tries to put some distance between them. “I’m sorry—“
“Please—“ Jeongguk catches his wrists in every attempt to push him away, forces himself closer. “I want you.”
“Si-hun is coming over.” He frees his wrists, catches Jeongguk’s hands from trying to paw all over him. “I can’t have you here.”
“Screw him.” Jeongguk nudges his nose with his own, interlocks their fingers. “You want to fuck me, too.”
God fuck if that isn’t the truth. He almost drools just at the mention, if the sight of their hands intertwined like this didn’t make his chest clench.And maybe it’s cause Jeongguk is drunk, maybe it’s the way those eyes sparkle so sadly, otherwise he’d probably not tell him this.“I want to fuck you, all the fucking time.” He admits. “But you keep running away.”Jeongguk stares at him for a long second.
“Well, you were planning a date right after, so..”
A date..?Jeongguk averts his gaze then, all sullen.“What are you on about? What date?”
“The morning after.. last time.” Jeongguk hiccups. “You called him.”
Fragments slowly start to come back. After he made breakfast for the both of them, Si-hun called, and he walked to another room to pick up. When he hung up, Jeongguk was gone.
Oh.
Oh.
He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, but nothing comes out for a second or two. “You eavesdropped?”
———————
Shit.
That was a stupid thing to say. Jimin’s eyes glint in that way that he can’t handle at all. Namjoon gave him the worst advice on earth. Begging is so fucking pathetic, and he still can’t even get what he came for. Worked up the courage after downing his month’s worth of alcohol in one hour only to be turned down.
And now this.
He huffs out a breath, quickly takes his hands back.
“I didn’t eavesdrop. I just— I happened to hear it.”
A beat passes, and then Jimin scoffs.
“Yeah right, I was in another room.”
Shame rushes to his cheeks, and he just turns his head away.
“Whatever, you still scheduled a date.”“Is that what this is all about?” Jimin takes a step closer. “You’re jealous I scheduled a date?”
He sucks in a sharp breath, body going rigid. This was not supposed to happen. His goal was coming here and begging for it, like Namjoon told him to do, with that 100% guarantee. Except, here he is, Jimin’s hand curls around the back of his neck, and those plump, glossy lips align with his ear.“Want me all for yourself?”Fuck, the way he phrases it is so embarrassing. His cheeks glow, and if he weren’t drunk he might have scoffed, might have pushed Jimin off, but he’s so fucking down bad.“I— I just want— I don’t care you’re dating someone.” He brings past his lips after another hiccup, not entirely sure if that’s the truth. “But I.. want your mouth, I want.. sex.”“Mmh..” Jimin hums. “Wanna be fuckbuddies then?”
God yes.If he had a tail it would start fucking wagging right now. Despite telling Namjoon that he’d only need it one more time and then he’d move on.
Fuck, he’s such a liar, can’t believe he fooled himself.“Yeah.” He turns his head, nudges Jimin’s nose. “Want that.”
“Okay.” Jimin’s fingers run up the nape of his neck, curl around the hairs there. “After every training?”
That’s only thrice a week. “And competitions.” He adds. “Saturdays.”So he can sleep over.“Alright.” Jimin’s eyelids sink a little, that seductive hue to them now. It’s hard not to get hypnotised. “There’s only one thing..” “One thing?”
His eyes drop down to those pretty, glossy lips catching the light, is he wearing lip balm? They’re even more plump than normal.
“Just to prove that you really, actually want this..”
Jimin’s fingers caress down his neck, draw a little circle there.He tilts his head a bit, leans in for that kiss he’s been waiting for the entire night, but Jimin pulls away last second, makes him chase.“I want you to blow me.”