"I am Beelzebub. The Lord of Flies."
The self-titled Satan's words flowed off his tongue smoothly as he introduced himself to his 'master'. He had recognised her at first glance, and was pleased with the discovery. She'd inadvertently told him exactly where he was.
Rin Tohsaka. The master of the Archer-class servant summoned in the fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War. The last living member of the Tohsaka lineage after the last such war. More importantly, he knew he was in Fate now, as a servant no less.
So far as starts went, he was off to a pretty good one.
If he was a servant, then that meant the power he held right now was a mere vestige of the complete divine nature of his actual self. That was problematic as well though. There were no memories to tell him of his history, or a true body tucked somewhere far away.
To him, this was life.
As a servant, here, he was a living and breathing person.
"A-A Prince of Hell?" Rin sputtered, bringing him back to the real world, "No, Beelzebub is supposed to be second only to Lucifer. H-How did the Grail even summon you?"
That confirmed at least one of his theories.
Beelzebub did not deign to rise again, and calmly observed his master, "I expect my summoner to know. Surely, you are an accomplished magus to manage such a feat?"
As a Dark God should, he shamelessly aggrandized himself.
He took a deep breath of the cold wintery air seeping through the broken wall and shattered windows.
"But I am joyful for this opportunity, master."
Rin seemed at a loss for words, unsure of how to handle a being of his magnitude. She took a look at her shimmering command seals before nodding in some odd resolve and pointing a hand at him.
"You're the servant. I'm the master."
Beelzebub's dark hair fell over his eyes, "I see I have gravely overestimated your mental capabilities. Forgive me, master."
Sadly, Rin was wholly unaware of exactly why most people tended to steer clear of him, and why the staff at local Starbucks hated him.
"W-Wha?"
"I admit I do not see the point in repeating common sense." He craned his neck, "Do you usually tell doors they are to open? Is breathing a manual task?"
Heat rose to her cheeks. She wanted to say something back, but she held her tongue. Perhaps afeared of what provoking a being like him could entail. Then, all of a sudden, his master was grinding her heels into the carpet and clenching her fists.
"With this command seal-"
Each master had three command seals. Three miracles that could bend the world, and serve as absolute commands to their servant. There were surely better uses for-
"Excuse me?"
"-I forbid you from hurting me in any way!"
Beelzebub felt the command seep into every inch of his being... a weak command that would prove only slightly troublesome to overpower if he really wanted to hurt her. He really didn't want to do anything like that though.
Rin was one of the best possible masters to be summoned by. She was a talented magus, with enough reserves to let him unleash most of the power he held.
Still, even he knew what she had done was absurd.
Rin let out a startled yelp when Beelzebub rose to his full height. He towered over her, and a shadow fell over her as he stepped closer. She involuntarily closed her eyes when he leaned down.
"Are you an idiot?"
"What?"
"Why waste something so precious on a redundant command?"
"You're actually Satan! How am I supposed to trust anything you say?!" Her fear morphed into frustration. She locked eyes with him. "Leading humanity astray is your whole shtick. That's why you're supposed to be so handsome, isn't it?"
Rin was... right.
He wordlessly raised a finger and brought it to his chin, leaning on his staff.
"You're right."
"Of course I am! Hmph!"
There it was. The iconic Rin Tohsaka huff that made her one of the best tsunderes ever. He couldn't help the faint smile that crossed his lips.
"Then, master..."
Beelzebub was having way too much fun larping.
"Hm?"
"How am I meant to reassure you? Would you like to have the Devil kneel down and offer his submission?"
He'd never do that.
Rin did open one eye though, arms still crossed under a near-nonexistent chest. She curiously eyed him. Beelzebub placed a hand over his chest and leaned over. There was a certain degree of expectation in her gaze.
"Pervert."
"N-... Y-You're the one who-"
He calmly walked back over to the one sofa still intact and sat down once more.
"So long as you don't work against me, master. I will win you this war, even if you choose to hide away."
There was no guarantee of his existence past the end of the Grail War, regardless of whether or not he was victorious or lost. In that case, there was only one path left for an individual like him to take. He had no intention of giving up this newfound entertainment, so he would win.
He would use the Holy Grail to incarnate himself as is.
Sure, there was another unborn Evil God lurking in that damn cup, but he was a fully matured one.
He was Beelzebub of the Bible, of the Unholy Trinity.
Before Beelzebub, he was Baal of the Canaanites.
To put a deity like himself against the one in the Grail was indeed like... Coughing Baby vs Hydrogen Bomb, even if he was just a larper.
"I wouldn't hide away just because you're strong." Rin tossed her hair over her shoulder, pressing down the embarrassment. "Having the Devil as my servant definitely sounds amazing too. If you really are him."
"I do not think anyone would enjoy impersonating the Lord of Flies."
He was doing exactly that, though.
"Right, so what's your class?"
"Archer, I would assume."
"How would Beelzebub be summoned in-"
Beelzebub snapped his fingers. Sheer force blew past Rin's shoulder, stopping mere inches away from the wall behind her.
"See? Ranged attack. That makes me an Archer."
He was getting better at controlling his powers too, and what awesome powers they were. The ability to vibrate his body at extremely high frequencies meant that his attacks were essentially invisible to the naked eye. Moreover, the transfer of vibrations through the air was the same as exerting pure force as an attack.
Rin deadpanned. "You can't be an Archer just by throwing things."
"You sure?"
-
All things considered, Beelzebub's master was pretty cute. Rin was still on edge around him, but somehow that edge infuriated her because of her ego and she exploded from time to time. She was so much shorter than him that he found it very difficult to take those tantrums very seriously.
"Why am I the one who has to clean up your mess?"
"You summoned me." He replied calmly, observing the spell she was using to fix the broken windows with intrigue, "Any mess of mine is yours, as I would not be here without you."
"What kind of logic is that?" Rin looked over her shoulder.
Beelzebub closed his eyes, "I did not expect you to be so far gone that common sense is lost on you."
"I don't want Satan to give me lessons on common sense. Do you even have something like that... down where you're from?"
"How rude," He amusedly pulled his staff to a side, "I see you lack manners as well."
"...You're a literal demon."
"A courteous demon. More so than yourself, at least."
...
Rin groaned and rubbed her temple.
Instead of quieting down, he kept going.
"I expect at least basic manners from the scion of a noble house."
"Alright, alright! I get it! Enough already. What do you want from me?"
"Well..." Beelzebub looked to the side, not bothering to hide his amusement. Fortunately for Rin, his face, though pleasing to the eye, revealed very little, "Isn't it normal to offer tea and biscuits to a guest?"
She stared at him flatly, dead-eyed and lost for words.
"I seriously don't get this..."
Still, she did listen.
Only once he was certain that she was gone did Beelzebub laugh. It was slow and strange, not at all unnatural. The noise was more like someone trying to laugh but failing. His emotions remained unsubdued, but he realised that his expressions were.
"This is fun." He remarked with a shake of his head.
There were a couple of things he was honor-bound to do if they woke up in a situation like his. And, the one at the foremost, was one he was unwilling to put off till the morning. Rin would come around, eventually.
It didn't really matter if she didn't though.
"Now... where was their house again?"
-
Hope you had fun.
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