JK Rowling: hello childrenRowling: are you all excited for the new harry potter sssseriesssBarker: hey yeah soBarker: i got some questions about thatRowling: no questionss
Barker: so how involved are you in this new harry potter seriesRowling: good quessstion!Rowling: i'm glad you asskedRowling: i'm not really involved so it's actually not transphobic to watch itRowling: but also i'm intimately involved to make sure it reflects my true vision
King: wait, is that possible?Rowling: oh yess abssolutelyRowling: ssee the trick isss i just go into thiss box hereKing: right okRowling: until you actually obsserve the transsphobia happening then, the two things are ssimultaneoussly trueRowling: ssso you can watch harry potter without guiltRowling: asss long asss you don't collapssse the waveform
King: this seems a little far-fetchedRowling: ssteve sssteve ssteveRowling: it'ss just elementary quantum physicsssKing:Rowling: ssee, firsst you have to underssstand that ssspace time iss curved
King: wow! so you're actually saying it's okay for me to watch this harry potter series?Barker: not so fast steveKing: oh of course clive's gonna ruin itBarker: ah ha ha and how!
Barker: so joanne you say that this new harry potter series is gonna reflect your true visionBarker: what exactly is that vision again?Rowling: well, it's exactly the ssame as the old oneRowling: except that rupert grint, emma watson and daniel radcliffe don't get royaltiess
Rowling: those harry potter child actorss were very rude to tell me, their god and mother, that i was wrong about ssomethingRowling: if you think about it, issn't that pretty much the problem with thesse transss in general
Rowling: but don't think about thatRowling: letsss hear from the actorsssJohn Lithgow: JK Rowling is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life
Rowling: here's john lithgow, he's playing the iconic part of the grand wizardLithgow: [sweats] haha oh yeah i um er heard there was some um controversy umBarker: some controversy huh?Lithgow: [sweating intensifies] but let's talk about whimsy and imagination instead
Rowling: ssee, harry potter is about how everyone can just get alongRowling: all except for one certain group of peopleRowling: you know the one i'm talking aboutRowling: itss transs peopleRowling: ssorry i had to ssay it i didn't want to leave any doubtPoe: oh no we all knew who you meantPoe: you've been very clear
Rowling: thiss time, harry potter will finally rule them all!Rowling: nothing will ssteal hiss thunder thiss time!Barker: hey did you hear there's a new animorphs seriesRowling: whatKA Applegate: IT'S ANIMORPHIN' TIME!