I was sick when I wrote this, so my voice sounds like shit, but I wanted to post it because this demo means a lot to me. I think it is one of the most scathing and honest songs I've ever written. I'm not sure if it sounds that way to an outside listener, or if it's primarily understood in context, but the brutality of it almost makes me physically cringe when I listen to it.
Part of it is that I usually write about things that happened years ago, I am rarely making art about something that is happening in the moment. This one was about a situation that was currently playing out between me and a loved one, and it was hard to know that if they listened to it it would hurt them so much. I don't want to say too much more about it, but maybe you can feel it from the lyrics.
Here in the darkWe run clearPoured on the sheets, your mouth foams nearI could forsake you but I won’tYou’ve never been more tiredI’ve never been more wrong
And the lines we dug are filled with airAnd the sins we buried feel so nearAnd I fall untethered from the sunI could say I love you, but I’m done
And I fallAnd I fallAnd I fallAnd I fall
Glass on the floorPartial liesAnd for whose sake, we compromise?All of our heartsDrift awayInto the void, the black of space
And the grace we had is filled with shameAnd the corpse we buried has no nameAnd I fall like lightning from the skyAnd I’d say I want you but I don’t wanna lie
And I fallAnd I fallAnd I fallAnd I fall