I'm getting to the point in Violet Evergarden that I'm questioning why I keep coming back for more pain every week π Episode 10 was probably the hardest I've cried in a LONG time.
The thought of a mother knowing she is dying and spending the time she has left writing letters for her daughter to receive on every birthday after she is gone... It was too much this time. And the girl. Old enough to understand that her mom is dying and that soon she'll be all alone. It was DEVASTATING. And the music in episode 10.. It was some of the saddest and most haunting music we've heard so far. Everything about it felt heavy and made me cry even harder. Watching Violet crumble in front of the other Dolls after coming home from her assignment broke me all over again. She knew exactly what those letters meant. But she stayed strong while she was there. For the mother. For the girl. But seeing Violet herself crumble like that made the sadness hit even harder. She has come so far from the girl we met in Episode 1 who didn't even understand what "I love you" meant. Now she feels everything so deeply that sometimes it completely overwhelms her. Then I mustered up enough strength to get into Episode 11. I hoped maybe after such a heartbreaking episode we'd get a breather.No chance...Violet went into enemy territory just to write a letter for a dying soldier and because of everything she experienced herself during the war, this episode was eye opening. Holding his hand as he slipped away.. Writing his final words to the people he loved back home.. Everyone deserves to get a letter from the ones that they love.I think messages like these are the most important. That no matter what side of the war someone is on, they are still a person. Still a human life. Still someone's child, someone's friend, someone's lover. Someone who desperately just wants to get back home. And hearing Violet whisper "I don't want anyone else to die" felt so incredibly heavy coming from her. Coming from a girl that was taught to take lives without understanding the weight of them. And now she is someone sitting beside a dying stranger, kissing his forehead and making sure his final feelings reach the people he loves.Violet Evergarden has wrecked my soul every episode I watch. Little by little I'm chipped away to a blubbering mess that is forced to look at life through a different lens. But I keep coming back for the lessons, the experience, the pain. And through this show I have a completely new understanding of grief, loss, love, and our human emotions in a way I was never expecting.It's wild to think about how much I've reflected on my own life and feelings while watching Violet slowly understand her own. This isn't just a sad anime. It's deeply moving in a way that honestly feels life changing.At this point, I feel like every episode of Violet Evergarden leaves a little mark on my heart.Next week, I'll be back for another π€Thank you for your support on Patreon!Relax and enjoy πΏπΏWANT TO WATCH IN DUB?Sync Along Video Link: https://youtu.be/a5Xt1_ygxvsI watched this on Netflix in original Japanese with subtitles