Act 8: Coil
Timeline 1
Coil: knits sock.
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Proceed.”
Agent: ”Initiating contact.”
Agent: ”Sir, attack was stopped by...”
Coil: ”By what?!”
Agent: ”Plushy toys, sir? Ponies? Unicorns? Strange pink and white— they— pregnant? No they— whattafuk— no-no— how?!”
Coil: ”What’s going on? Answer!”
Agent: ”They're shooting at us! BY ALIENS! From 1979 MOVIE! And— guiding them? By lasers! No— by— it’s Care Bears rays?!!”
Coil: ”Speak clearly!”
Agent: ”We are retreating! Out of town! Two ponies. Shooting from bellies Aliens from the namesake movie and guiding them by ass version of Care Bears rays! After collision small ponymorphs bite into bodies and take control over them! We— no-no-no! CONTACT! Two more ponies! IN SPACE MARINE ARMORS! It’s Necron’s Gauss Blaster?! WHY THE FUCK DO MARINES HAVE NEC— shh-hhhh-hh-hhhhh”
Coil: ”Watcher? Respond! Watcher?!”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: knits sock.
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Proceed.”
Agent: ”Initiating contact.”
Agent: ”We're trying but our— what?”
Coil: ”Describe in detail!”
Agent: ”There’s an enormous spatial rift above us! It's showering us with candies! ALIVE CANDIES! THEY ARE TRYING TO EAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa— shh-hhh-hhhh-hhh.”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: knits sock by trembling hands.
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Proceed!!”
Agent: ”Initiating contact.”
Agent: ”Um, sir— there are— I— I don’t understand sir, but by some strange reason— I— want to— I really want to— Give you candies?
Pet.
Sorry! I shouldn’t say this, Pet! Or—
Agent 2: ”Squad Delta returns to base, to our dear Pet. Over.”
Agent 3: ”Squad Beta object. Someone should take over beast Merchant’s candies for our Pet.”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: tries to knit sock with trembling hands.
Noelle: ”Are you alright, sir?”
Coil: ”Yes, yes. It's just— there are so cozy here— yes— so, why not just spend time with a friend, Nelly.”
Noelle: ”Um, this is the second time we've spoken, sir. And—”
Coil: ”It’s alright, alright. Is there really so much time needed for a great friendship?”
Timeline 2
Coil: Proceed.
Agent: Initiating co— wha— um, yes? No, please, please, take it.
Coil: ”Watcher?”
???: ”Hello, Thomas.”
Coil: ”Who are you?”
???: ”Thomas!”
Coil: ”G-gran?”
Gran: ”GRAN?! Thomas Jeremaya Calvert! Oh, you little rascal, did I teach you to—”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: heavily breathing.
Noelle: ???
Timeline 2
Coil: ...
Agent: sir?
Coil: ”She— she isn’t there?”
Agent: ”Who, sir?”
Coil: ”Heavy exhale.”
Coil: ”P-proc-ceed.”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: ”What? This was... not me, is it?”
Noelle: “Is something wrong?”
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Proc—”
BAM!
Coil: ”aaAAaa!”
Noelle: ”WHAT IS THIS?!”
BAM! BAM!
Noelle: ”Something is breaking into the vault!”
BAM! BOOOM! !!!SCREECH!!!
The gigantic syringe point breaks through the 50cm steel vault door and exposes the hole with grotesque bespectacled head.
???: ”HERE'S PITTER!”
A girl’s screech: ”52 PERCENT, MISTER P! FASTER! FASTER! GIVE PET YOUR BEST CANDY!”
Trickster’s mad screams: ”GO AWAY, GO AWAY! DID HE TOUCH YOU?! NOEL! DID HE TOUCH YOU WITH HIS DIRTY HANDS!!?!!”
Coil: ”doooOOOR!!!”
Opening of a wide portal, from which — arm in arm — come out two potbellied grotesque persons.
Joyful Jamie Rinke: ”Oh! Emily! What a wonderful romantic dinner idea!”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: heavily breathing with blank stare.
Coil: ”d-dor?”
Noelle: ”Sir, the door is fine...”
Coil: ”DOOOOR TO CAULDRON!!! DOOR TO ME!!! DOOR!!! DooooR!!!”
Reality: -
Timeline 2
Coil’s personality 1: 'who are you?'
Coil’s personality 2: 'who are you?'
Coil’s personality 3: 'who are you?'
Coil’s personality 2: 'It’s my body!'
Coil’s personality 1: 'You are I?'
Coil’s personality 3: 'Impossible!'
Coil’s personality 1: 'Don’t touch my body!'
Coil’s personality 2: 'Your body?! I’m real Coil!'
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: ”n-o.”
Noelle: “S-sir, door is really fine...”
Timeline 2
Coil: -
Agent: ”Sir?”
???: ”pfff—”
Coil: ”Who was that?!!”
Agent: ”I don't understand what you're talking about, sir, pff—”
???: ”Pff— he-he.”
Coil: ”THIS! What are these sounds?!”
Agent: ”It's the wind, sir!”
???: sniggering.
Coil: ”It’s not wind! It's sniggering!!”
Agent: ”Sorry sir, but this INDEED wind—”
drum roll
Agent: ”My Funny Wind, Sir!”
Audience reactions: thunderous guffaw; claps; ovation.
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: ”no-no-no.”
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Wat—”
Coil’s voice from the intercom: ”Attention! My double has gone crazy and is trying to impersonate me! Please, extract him from the A2 vault! I’m rep—”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: ”No-No-No.”
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Watcher?”
Agent: ”Bogu?”
Coil: ”Can you hear me?”
Agent: ”Wugh?”
Coil: ”PASS THE COMM TO ANOTHER!”
Agent: ”Bqwq? Wgwo mg?”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil, hysterically: ”NO-NO-NO!!”
Noelle: ”Francis! Someone?!”
Timeline 2
Coil: ”Watcher?!”
Agent: ”Yes, Sir! Sir! I have a cunning plan, Sir!”
Coil: ”What?!”
Agent: ”Not ”what,” Sir, but a plan. Cunning plan, Sir. Of course, you have many of your own cunning plans, Sir, but I assure you that my cunning plan is cunninger than yours! With all due respect, Sir, for your matchless cunning, Sir!”
Coil: ”W-what you plan?”
Agent: ”TWO ice cream vans, Sir! Each with different types of ice cream!
Equally good ice cream, Sir!
Sooner or later, the target will turn away from me, and I will stab it with a dagger, Sir!”
Timeline 2: closed.
⸻⸻x⸻⸻
Timeline 1
Coil: ”NOOoooo!!?!!”
Coil: ”DOOR!!! GIVE ME THE DOOR!!!”
Noelle: quietly huddles in the corner of the vault.
Timeline 2
Coil: "NOOoooo!!?!!"
Coil: "DOOR!!! GIVE ME THE DOOR!!!"
Coil: "WATCHER?! WATCHER?!"
Agent: "Sir?"
Coil: "Everything... alright?"
Agent: "Yes, sir. Everything alright. Absolutely fine. Everything is bright on this distant liiiine."
SUDDEN Noelle: ”Everything is clear, finely voice cuts through geeeeAr!”
Agent and Noelle: ”Signal steady, loud N clear, we are hearing you, our sir!”
Coil: whines.
Agent: ”Our connection is holding strong.”
Noelle: ”Intercommunication!”
Coil: sobs.
Agent: ”Zero nooooises!”
Noelle: ”Zero hiiiiss!”
Agent and Noelle: ”Bonding us by unseen tie-in’s.”
Agent: ”Can you hear me, my distant friend?”
Noelle: ”Hear you clearly, via radio set!”
Agent and Noelle: ”walky-talky — Ring-Ring-Dong-Dong — firmly holding our stable bond!”
Coil: ”aaaaaaaWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Timeline 1
Coil: ”aaaaaaaWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Act 9: MC
MC: tsk.
Taylor: ”Something wrong?”
MC: ”One of the quests preventively self-completed. By ”D” score! Fucking Coil! Ruins everything, as always!”
Taylor: ”What did you receive this time?”
MC: ”Another trash. Control of all creatures named after placenames within a 50-meter radius around me. Who would ever name their child after a placename?!”
Taylor: ”Strange.”
MC: ”Yea. At least this trash isn’t in the form of item, because my 64 inventory slots are almost full, and soon I'll need to throw something away...
Hmm, strange key-like sword; blade with hourglass; note with ”friendship+friendship” nonsense.
One yellow hand grenade; pink crystalline cube; blue crystalline ball; gold crystalline ball; very fucking original, another silver crystalline... crystal; and ANOTHER — perhaps tile-matching game piece — crystalline heart.
Cards that depict ugly body parts; strange gold trinket; another strange gold trinket; ANOTHER strange gold trinket; gold mask; green wristwatch; black notebook; closed black book; black writing quill; old revolver; business card with phone number of construction crews—”
MC: ’Just WTF, did I miss something on streaming services?’
MC: ”Why the fuck do I need construction crews?”
Taylor: ”To fix the ferry?”
MC: ”Hmm— good idea, Taylor! As always! Let’s fix the ferry!”
Taylor: ”Thank you! Let’s fix the ferry!”