Dispatch One Hundred and Seven, May 29th, 2026
Greetings WHM Family! It’s almost June already, which means the summer has started, the days are longer, and the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza is ready to kick into high gear on both the main feed and the Patreon. Speaking of the Patreon, depending on your level you have been enjoying a bevy of awesome content including two great episodes of Too Old for This Shit (on Daredevil: Born Again Season 2 and Punisher: One Last Kill, respectively), some killer Star Wars riffs (The Force Awakens WLM & Jango Fett grunting for 2 minutes straight on the Gleep Glossary) and a very heated PB&J debate on MELR0210. We’ve got a ton more great shit coming at you this summer, kids. We’re eating good.
Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro
Image Credit: Jackassmentary Number 2 image by Felipe Sobreiro
WHM HITS VEGAS THIS SUMMER!!
This August, WHM is hitting Vegas for the very first time for our VERY FIRST fan convention to celebrate 10 amazing years of The Nexus at ST: LV! The only way to do a convention this big is with the three BIGGEST Star Trek movies encapsulating both halves of The Nexus—TOS & TNG! We’ll be talking Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on Thursday, Star Trek: Generations on Friday, and then finishing it off with Star Trek: First Contact on Saturday! The line must be drawn HERE! And the cool part is, you don’t need to be a convention attendee to come see the shows, it’s ticketed separately! So, if you want to pick up tickets, check out this page for all the details! We can’t wait to see you all there!
LAST MONTH ON WHM
Episode 861 – Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) (Patrons Only)
Andrew, Eric, and Steve returned to the galaxy far, far away for this month’s We Love Movies to witness the enigmatic origins of Rey, the tragedy of Ben Solo, and the promising beginnings of J.J. Abrams’ time as the creative head of Star Wars. How striking and effective is the use of blood at the beginning here? Can we have more? Is this the last good film performance we’re going to get from Harrison Ford? What pieces of family memorabilia are you bringing onto the Lightsaber Roadshow? We’re bringing this rare picture of the Emperor holding Baby Rey at the hospital when he did that quick photo op for the campaign.
Episode 862 – The Devil Wears Prada with Chelsea Jupin (2006)
Just as The Devil Wears Prada 2 hit the theaters, Chelsea Jupin returned to the program to strut and walk the halls of Runway with the boys, preparing for fashion week with Miranda and flirting with TV’s The Mentalist. Is this one of Stanley Tucci’s best performances? How much KT Tunstall is too much? How crucial was this performance to Meryl Streep’s most recent run of awards-bait performances? Runway is currently considering a front-page spread—and interview—with Bane, post-breaking of Batman’s back!
Episode 862 – First Knight (1995)
Prepare to be bored! Andrew, Chris, Steve, and Eric headed to Camelot to see King Arthur get royally cucked by Lancelot, while also protecting his kingdom from evil Malagant. Where in god’s name did they get this wig for Richard Gere? Does Malagant have a for-serious bottomless pit in his evil cave palace, and can I get one for a reasonable price? Can we get slightly better wardrobes for the Knights of the Roundtable than B-grade Klingon leisure-wear? You better like that Sean Connery impression a whole lot, folks!
Episode 864 – Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
If it was a horror movie made in the ‘90s, of course there are sequels! The gang enrolled in the most bizarre film school in existence to track a killer who is picking off students and faculty alike to secure the career-making Hitchcock Award. How on Earth does this Hitchcock Award hold this much sway in the actual filmmaking industry? Why are there no classroom scenes in this movie set at a school? Is there a reason why the first kill is so good and feels separated from the rest of the film? If someone comes up to you and asks you about John Ottman, run. Run as fast as you can.
Episode 865 – Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
The fellas hyper-jumped back to the galaxy far, far away once again this month but this time, it’s the really shitty one. Yeah, there’s a secret Sith planet with a secret armada that’s all powered and controlled by the secretly-alive Emperor who is also the surprise happy Gramps to Rey, which thankfully makes her a real character finally. Why would you turn creative control of your movie over to Reddit? How dare you waste so much on and off-screen talent on the worst attempt at fan service ever mounted? Can you show Chewbacca a little more respect than using him as fake death-bait and real, absurd medal-bait at the end? If you have tickets to the Emperor’s seven o’clock show, please make sure if you’re okay being in the Zap Zone. We’ve had complaints.
WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?
This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies-related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.
Andrew:
Zoolander (2001): Chelsea and I have been revisiting a lot of aughts comedies recently and man, this really holds up. I realized it’s one of those movies where it’s been everywhere for 25 years, so you kind of take for granted that on top of being a big pop culture touchstone, it’s also a genuinely hilarious movie. One thing I noted on Letterboxd is that you so rarely have people mentioning Jerry Stiller in this movie, but hot damn was he on fire here. I never watched a second of that Kevin James TV show, so this is kind of the only big post-Frank Costanza role I’ve seen him in and he’s so funny.
Tiger on the Beat (1988) / Tiger on the Beat 2 (1990): Picked up the 4K set after seeing it mentioned by friend of the show and Sleazoids podcast co-host, Josh Lewis and boy, night and day between the first movie and the second one. Tiger on the Beat has Chow Yun-Fat, high octane action, and a wild-AF chainsaw fight that makes the one in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 look like kid shit. And then you have Tiger on the Beat 2, where Chow didn’t return, the action is a lower-grade of octane, and there are precisely ZERO chainsaw fights.
Dolly (2025): More dreadful shit that Shudder picked up for reasons I’ll never understand. I appreciated the 1970’s grind house vibes, but there’s no story here, just absolutely nothing to care about or latch onto. A totally wasted Sean William Scott as well, forced to debase himself in a situation I won’t spoil. Another L for horror’s biggest streaming site.
Excalibur (1981): Eric Szyszka’s recommendation was spot-on, folks. This movie is right on time. Looks so goddamn good, super fun, Merlin farting around through the whole thing, great fights. If you like this movie, I highly recommend picking up the Arrow 4K.
Josie and the Pussycats (2001): Another early-aughts comedy we revisited recently. Continues to be one of the most overlooked comedies from the early aughts. It’s They Live for the Y2K generation and it’s way smarter and funnier than most gave it credit for at the time, yours truly included. If you haven’t seen it in a while, go back and check it out. Top-tier Alan Cumming and Parker Posey.
A New Leaf (1971): Caught the restoration at IFC this weekend and was reminded instantly of how great this is—easily one of the funniest films of the 1970s and another overlooked gem. Good on Cinématographe for putting out that 4K disc as well.
Reckless (2026): The latest Scott Adkins vehicle that’s light on fight scenes, but over-stuffed with gay panic prison rape jokes for some reason. Light recommend for what fighting there is in the film, plus an entertaining Vinnie Jones.
Chris:
Fear of a Black Hat (1993): A very funny This is Spinal Tap-style mockumentary for the early 90s rap world, coasting on a surprising, inventive sense of visual and verbal humor and a bevy of superb comedic performances, including from director and Silence of the Lambs vet, Kasi Lemmons as the filmmaker behind the would-be documentary. This is the debut feature of Rusty Cundieff, the director behind breakout horror hit Tales from the Hood and the undervalued Sprung, but is more uproarious than either, thanks mostly to the excellent song parodies (“Gorillas in the Midst” and “My Peanuts” are personal favorites) and brilliant wardrobe decisions throughout. Surprised this doesn’t have a stronger cult following, gets better the more I think about it.The Last of the Fast Guns (1958): My ongoing quest to see every good Western ever made has led me to this George Sherman-helmed gem from 1958, starring the hilariously named Jock Mahoney as a gun-for-hire who is put to task hunting down the mysterious, long-lost brother of a rich society fellow with some help from a saucy ranch hand played by the great Gilbert Roland. 82 minutes of gorgeous, cleverly paced action, laced with a surprising intimacy built up between Roland and Mahoney as much as Mahoney’s gunslinger and Linda Cristal’s brassy Maria. Sherman and editor, Patrick McCormack keep everything lean and forceful without making the film feel like narrative efficiency is its primary goal. The terrific DP Alex Phillips, responsible for some of the most radiant images of Arturo Ripstein, Roberto Gavaldon, and Luis Buñuel’s career, also finds strange, alluring light and shadow in the hills and rocky terrain of Mexico. Consider me more than a little interested in George Sherman.
Mortal Kombat II (2026): Bad news: they didn’t just go straight into a bloody, emotionless tournament as soon as this starts. That was the only way this was going to work and of course, they route around in the right direction for a minute. We see some of the familiar stages and backgrounds and fatalities which is all well and good, I suppose, but everything else about this movie feels wrong and not in the good way. They try to make you feel sad about Jax (Mehcad Brooks) getting killed by Shao Khan (Martyn Ford), even as they rightly play the fatality of Lewis Tan’s hopelessly boring Cole for laughs. They try to make Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) into the movie’s hero, aided by a cheaply realized my-daddy-died backstory/origin story. Way too long as well, but that honestly feels like one of the smaller problems with this completely botched bid at gory entertainment. By the time the third one of these pieces of shit comes out, I’m going to be calling the original a genuinely good movie in comparison. Sad shit, man.
Eric:
Blastfighter (1984): I've become obsessed with this movie. A cop goes to jail for murdering the bad guys that killed his wife. He gets out of jail and a friend of his gives him a super-gun, you know, for if he wanted to continue his vigilantism. He doesn't. He wants a simple life in the country. He heads back to his hometown. Unfortunately, it's full of rednecks that are dead set on over hunting the animal population. Our hero does not agree with their methods and lets them know. They push him and folks, these bumpkins were asking for it. Great last like, 11 minutes of pure action. First Blood meets Deliverance.
Clans of Intrigue (1977): Going through my Shawscopes and getting into Chor Yuen. This wuxia is a murder mystery of a guy trying to clear his name. Good sets, good fights.
Jade Tiger (1977): Also Chor Yuen. I liked this one even more. It opens with an older man's head being completely ripped off. I also found the rivals in this, the Tang Clan, very interesting as they're basically Chinese ninjas—they poison, they do anything to win, and they have no honor. Gorgeous sets and photography in this one too.
The Nice Guys (2016): Rewatched this as it's now 10 years old (ain't that a kick in the nuts.) Just a great time top to bottom. How did we not get another one of these?
The Untouchables (1987): Memorial Day rewatch because why not? Kinda perfect in my book. I really like that Capone is more in the background than omnipresent. It's also great to see Sean Connery in this kinda almost Last Crusade mode. Billy Drago! Love him. If you haven't watched it in a while, give it another go.
Project: Kill (1976): Leslie Nielsen as Captain America. Sorta. He's an American super soldier who has been given serums to make him so strong he can do that 1970s white guy "shove fighting" really well. Well, he grows disillusioned with the project, and goes on the lam in the cheapest filming location he can think of, the Philippines! He's pursued by another super soldier (Gary Lockwood) to neutralize him. It's a bit of a nothing movie but still a curio.
Steve:
I Love Boosters (2026): It’s only fair to write this up here as I’m listening to the amazing score by Tune-Yards while composing this (and I’m not even a “score guy”), but I really mostly liked this one! Sorry to Bother You is a lot to live up to and I’m very happy that Boots Riley kept the maniac energy and kept pummeling the screen with beautiful colors, batshit sequences and really funny jokes… But, you do feel a bit pummeled by the end, which is a bit of a shame. I feel like his first movie stuck the landing on marrying all (or most) of his ideas into a cohesive, satisfying narrative and this movie seems less interested in that. Which is a bit of a shame, because I think there’s a sharp message insulated by a few too many other messages. Overall, I had a really good time and I keep thinking about all the things I liked about it a few days later, so that’s good. Also, Keke Palmer is a fucking star, man.
Duel (1971): Was in a Spielbergian mood last night (see below for the reason) and I decided to fill in a major gap, his first feature length made-for-TV movie. A capital “C” cool movie. Great car stunts and neat Alfred Hitchcock Presents / Twilight Zone vibes mixed with early-1970’s aesthetics and I was in hog heaven! I really liked Dennis Weaver’s totally committed and mostly cowardly performance as the lead. All those little whoops and yips he made had me cackling.
Hokum (2026): A really good month for horror! I’m highlighting this over Obsession (which I loved, sorry everybody) because I think we’ll talk a little about that guy on the upcoming On-Screen Live (tune in Monday!). Damian McCarthy is turning out work that is extremely my shit. I love a spooky hotel movie, especially one with lore as thick and as rich as this one. Adam Scott does very well as the unlikable protagonist (he burns a bellboy with a heated spoon!) thrust into a hellish stay while confronting his own demons. Great vibes here and even better scares. I’m excited for his next one…and if you haven’t seen Oddity from a few years back, rectify that.
THE NEW YORK KNICKS: Yes. I am using this space to talk about basketball. Scroll ahead if you must! This Finals run has been an absolute delight to watch from start to finish (even those rough first few Atlanta games) and watching them kick the ever living shit out of every opponent in the last month has been a highlight of my 35 years of fandom. Do they win a Championship? Who knows?! But I’ve gotten very stupidly superstitious about this run and there a mini-rituals I’ve been engaging with. I will not embarrass myself by revealing here…maybe I will if they do indeed win. No matter what, this has been incredibly fun and even if the WORST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD decides to make it about him and show up to the Garden, well, even that won’t sour my mood too much. This team is too goddamn fun. Go Knicks!
PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND
Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from
Alex from Utica who asks:
“With summer on its way, what are some of your favorite ‘summer vibes’ movies?”
Andrew: I think all of us can agree Jaws is a big one, for sure, but I have to throw my hat in the ring for two light, but fun comedies, both directed by the same guy: Carl Reiner. First is Summer School from 1987. Mark Harmon plays a laid-back gym teacher who is forced to teach a summer school class full of ne’er-do-well kids, including two guys dangerously obsessed with The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The film’s vibe really does hit that lesser-experienced summer vibe: having to be at school for part of it. For any of us that’s been there, it’s nice to see that representation on screen. And then there’s also Summer Rental from 1985. This is one I’ve mentioned on the air before, where John Candy accidentally rents a shitty house for his family for the summer (after thinking they’ve rented a palatial beach house) and he gets involved in a Slobs vs. Snobs battle with the president of the local yacht club. The summer vibes here are very specifically for those of us who have had those less-than-stellar summer vacations where, yes, maybe the lodging wasn't primo, or maybe Dad got into it with the father of the family in the next-door condo, let’s say… In any case, Carl Reiner wound up directing two of my fave summer time movies, and I’m thankful he did!
Chris: Dazed and Confused, which is often my answer when I’m asked what my favorite movie is. Smartly, Linklater captures what’s so important about summer vibes by setting it on the last day of the school year: it is in direct opposition to strict and rigid school vibes. They’re also in direct opposition to adulthood vibes in my view and are at best described as complete and total abdication of all adult responsibilities and responsibilities towards, and for adults. That’s how I see it anyway and Dazed and Confused marks the end of all those responsibilities with the “School’s Out” montage before reestablishing the short-run senior-class rules and regulations set forth by the Parker Posey gang and the jocks with their paddles, almost a phantom extension of the punitive arm of the school administration. Summer should be about doing what you want when you want (within reason!) to relax, enjoying the outdoors with friends and meeting new people with them, and, of course, grilling as often as possible. Dazed and Confused awesomely takes this a step further and considers that a legitimate and occasionally even righteous ideology to live life by, which is what makes Sabrina (Christin Hinojosa) standing up to Posey’s Darla feel so compelling and Mitch’s ultimate, unlikely triumph so satisfying. This is going on too long. Can you tell I think about this movie too much?
Eric: One of the biggest summer movie memories for me was Back to the Future and I consider that whole trilogy to be quintessentially summer fare. This was sometime in the 90's: I walked down the stairs after waking up at 11 AM and it was already on the giant ground seated Zenith tube TV. Popped a Mama Celeste in the microwave. The last time I felt joy.
Steve: I guess summer vibes and fighter pilots go hand in hand for me, because the first things that popped into my head were Top Gun (1986) and Independence Day (1996). Both feel so incredibly summery for different reasons. Top Gun has one of the most absurd beach scenes in cinema history (“Playin’ with tha boooyyyysss”) and has a ton of people sweating for any number of reasons. Independence Day is different because seeing that movie as a kid was so formative for me and has become the quintessential “summer blockbuster” in my mind.
JUNE SCHEDULE
Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for June:
Free Feed:
June 2nd – Masters of the Universe (1987) REDUX
June 9th – War of the Worlds (2005)
June 16th – Top Dog (1995)
June 23rd – Minions (2015) with Bob Mackey and Henry Gilbert
June 30th – San Andreas (2015)
Patreon Episodes:
June 4th – We Love Movies: Minority Report (2002)
June 11th – Jackassmentary Number Two: Synchable commentary to Jackass Number Two (2006)
June 12th – Once In a Lifetime: The Wrong Daughter (2018)
June 18th – MELR0210: 90210: “Greek To Me” (s4, e4) Melrose Place: “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre” (s3, e20)
June 23rd at 8pm EST – WHM After Dark: Come with your questions at the ready and spend an hour hanging out with the gang!
June 25th – Animation Damnation: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983): “Here, There, Skeletors Everywhere" (s2, e51)
June 26th – The Gleep Glossary: Moff Jerjerrod
June 29th – The Nexus: TOSTAS: “The Practical Joker”(s2, e3) TNG: “Disaster” (s5,e5)
PATREON RSS BUG
If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!
UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION
In case you missed it we opened our Patreon Shop we released the previously unavailable Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter virtual live show for purchase on our Patreon shop! This was such a fun show and it'll be awesome to revisit or experience for the first time as you get to talk us gab about (one of) the best entries in the Friday the 13th canon! You get a new introduction recorded by us, the show from that night, and an audio file of the whole thing so you can enjoy the show again on the go!
You’re keeping up with our Youtube channel, right? On-Screen live is making it’s glorious return THIS MONDAY at Noon EST, subscribe now so you don’t miss it! We’ll be chatting about The Mandalorian and Grogu, The Boys’ final season & more!
Also, speaking of Video Content, are you aware We Hate Movies is on TikTok? We are @whmpodcast! We’ve got some kick-ass short form videos releasing there, on the aforementioned Youtube page, and of course on Instagram! These are short, super fun ways to relive your favorite bit and share on these platforms to get new folks into the show too! All credit for these amazing videos goes to @gnarcissist on TikTok!
Hooked on T.J. Hooker is BACK and Eric and Ben run afoul of some religious serial killers and an anti-cocaine PSA by William Shatner, listen here!
If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our new and improved merch store on Dashery! We have some new, super fun designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Total Recall Live show logo, a pair of vaguely gross ones like “Hot Out the Hole” and “The Coin Slot” and the Barbarian Scaredycats design! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill! There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month!
Take it easy,Andrew, Chris, Eric, and SteveWe Hate Movies